Roses Are Red? – A Minx’s Guide to Valentine’s Day 2017


Hello my dear Minx lovers!

And a Happy Valentine’s Day to you one and all!

As today is Valentine’s Day, I’d like to do a quick run down of this fabulous festive day of delights, and share with you some of my Valentine’s day experiences.

At the moment it’s still Me Myself and I, and therefore I have been flying solo this V Day. Has this ruined my day or week? Am I currently weeping Bridget Jones style into a bottle of vodka, make-up smeared, hysterical and morbidly worrying about dying alone?

Am I fuck.

Next week will be a whole year of being single. One WHOLE year. I haven’t done this since I was 16. It feels like I’m one of the skinny women in a Weight Watchers advert, holding up a photo of me. Here’s what I look like now…

I have a bad habit of falling into (ricocheting between) men and relationships, so it’s been amazing to just be able to focus on me for a change, rather than worrying about pleasing/ upsetting someone else or unconsciously working around someone else’s timetable, friendship group, or even life. At the moment…it’s just me.In terms of V-Day, this meant I got to do EXACTLY what I wanted today.

I’m not having to cook anything, or get dressed up (which involves body prep…the leg shaving alone is exhausting enough to make it not worth it.) I’m not sitting in a crowded restaurant full of couples ignoring each other and playing on phones, wondering why I spent a hour trying to look nice when my date couldn’t even be bothered to iron a shirt.

No. Today, I had a lie in, then did some uni work. I went to my favourite cafe (much love J &J!), I got some free biscuits AND a free caramel yogurty thing (score). I did some more work. I planned my weekend. I had 4 offers of dates tonight (turned them down) and had several very sweet Valentine’s messages. I made of point of sending Valentine’s Day greetings to friends, especially the single guys and girls in my life. I’ve just had a massive salad (covered in prosciutto ham). I’m now curled up with a glass of really cheap Buck’s Fizz listening to Spotify and musing on the offer of a dirty weekend I’ve had for a few weeks time.

For me that is a fucking PERFECT Valentine’s Day. It was literally everything I wanted to do. I received genuine love and affection from people I cared about, and my Valentine’s Day pressies were amazing – free biscuits and caramel things? AWESOME!! 🙂

Reality is, as much as I am a hopeless romantic at heart, I just want to relax and enjoy nice food, drink and company on V Day, and that’s exactly what I did.

In the past…well let’s see. Last year I ended up in a weird platonic orgy…by which I mean I went out with my significant other and his friends to the rugby in I didn’t bother dressing up, which surprised him. To this day I don’t get why. It was a fun day out, but romantic? No.  I do feel bad that he made me a card and I bought him one a bit late, but in fairness, I’d tried to do something romantic for Christmas which he’d been vocally unhappy about, and I’d stopped caring….the SS Romance was clearly sinking. Anyway, it was a bit confusing, mostly due to different expectations and ideas….and I learned that romance isn’t a group activity. I still have the card though…that was incredibly sweet, especially as it was unexpected.

Other Valentine’s Days with boyfriends have included flowers, jewellery, meals….one guy was a chef and made me the most gorgeous champagne breakfast in bed. I’ve been wined and dined and it was all nice…but….well…not to be ungrateful, but things like the homemade cards….or the book of poetry bought in a charity shop….the gestures that were specifically for me….those are the ones I loved the most.

As for being single….I’ve had some cracking single Valentine’s Days as well. Use it as some bonding time with your friends. I’ve been to four strip shows on Valentine’s Day, and they were all incredibly funny, fun, eye popping nights out. Me and the girls got completely rat-arsed and saw an interesting mix of naked men, from the slightly chunkier dude with a cock like a marrow, to the slicker swisher strip groups straight out of London, all abs and six packs and baby oil, capable of making even this love hardened Minx blush.

Being with someone on is no guarantee of success or romance, and being single doesn’t mean that the day is going to be a complete write off either.

If you’re feeling a bit lonely or shit this year, grab a drink, grab a steak, grab a mate, grab the remote…whatever. Stop screaming, crying, sulking, stressing, shouting, pouting, or ranting. Take charge and make it YOURS.

Just because it’s Valentine’s Day, doesn’t mean it has to be a massacre. 😉







Posted in love, Romance, Uncategorized, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day for couples, Valentine's Day for singles | Leave a comment

Kiss Kiss (Bang Bang?)


Hello my dear Minx lovers and welcome to the first blog of 2017!

So the reason I have been quiet is the same reason that I had a chilled out New Year’s Eve. Due to 4 weeks of Uni  essays, I took it easy, which meant that I wasn’t out, and didn’t start the New Year with a snog.

Now this tradition comes from English and German folklore, which suggests that a kiss at midnight on New Year can strengthen a budding romance and if you don’t kiss someone, it will result in you being lonely and loveless the following year. Aside from being complete bollocks (THAT’S RIGHT! 😀 ) a kiss in itself is not enough to guarantee anything, and a bad kiss can be worse than no kiss at all.

In terms of bad kisses and bad kissers, I have encountered the following:


The Ken Doll

This type of guy kisses you like a Ken doll. He holds you politely, usually lightly around the waist, but with minimum contact. Close mouthed, and boring, you bump lips together but that’s it – no tongue, no sucking, nibbling, or anything else. Dry and dutiful, the Ken Doll kisser is the beigest of the lot and pecks away at your face like a pigeon pecking at a discarded bag of chips. Like Barbie, you’re left disappointed, frustrated, and wondering how quickly you can ditch this bozo for GI Joe.


The Biter

I like a bit of an animal in bed, but The Biter just takes the piss. Starting out slowly, The Biter will suddenly start to chomp down. Taking your lips between his teeth he will bite you hard enough to draw blood, over and over again, leaving you battered and bruised. If this is a pre-arranged BDSM thing, it’s fine. In any other circumstances, it’s rude and demonstrates very poor technique. Muzzle him and move on.


The Hair Puller

I fucking HATE having my hair grabbed in any way, so for me hair pullers are among the WORST kisser and lovers imaginable. You’re kissing…their hands go up the back of your neck, twist into your hair and suddenly YANK! They pull from the middle of your hair, wrapping their hands inside your locks, and tugging, usually away from themselves, causing your head to jerk about and resulting in your hair being pulled out. This isn’t done in a sexy, “I’m in charge, I’m going to hold your head still while I kiss you and make you see stars kind of way. This is done in a “I’ve watched too much porn and I saw this on Xhamster therefore she’s bound to dig it”. As with the biting, without forewarning and permission, hair pulling is a no. A head massage and a deep condition will have you as a good as new.

Washing machine.png

The Washing Machine

The Washing Machine grabs your head, sticks his tongue as far into your mouth as it will go, and swirls it around without stopping for hours. He gets into a his groove and just goes round and round, slobbering all over the place, spit going everywhere.  Aside from the fact that you’re nearly choking, he doesn’t use his lips or try to mix it up at all. Most Washing Machines usually have a spin cycle, which means that they can go slightly faster, but generally that’s the only type of variety they can offer. One perk is that this type of kisser has (unintentionally) given himself a lot of very useful skills when it comes to going down on girls, and a little bedroom feng shui could put him in a much better position to please.


The St Bernard

 Slobbery kissers are the worst. Not satisfied with kissing your mouth, The St Bernard will attempt to kiss your ENTIRE face, licking and drooling over your lips, chin, nose, cheeks, spit going everywhere. These are usually among the noisiest kissers, and they sound like they’re trying to suck a dozen jelly shots through a really tiny straw. Their tongues feel like manic oysters inside your mouths. You can’t breath but you’re in genuine danger of drowning. St Bernards are usually the result of over enthusiasm, and are therefore also among the most likely candidates to leave you with love bites. Not satisfied with trying to eating your face, they will creep onto your ear and neck, and leave you looking like you lost a fight with an Octopus. There is no excuse for this type of kisser, especially in anyone over the age of 21. They kiss girls the way a hungry dog attacks an ice cream, and their love making skills are just as terrible. (Trust me.)

A good kisser…

So what ARE we looking for in a good kisser?

Kisses should be passionate, exciting, and varied. From slow kisses with lip biting, to hot hard kisses full of the promise of wild orgasms, it’s really important to mix it up. Kissing is elementary foreplay,it becomes spicier by increasing physical contact, through holding or stroking fingers, wrapping your arms around someone’s waist or neck, or pushing someone up against a wall. Tongue action is important, but not all the time. Brushing someone’s lips with your own, and kissing someone on the neck or decolletage can create just as many fire works. A full blown knicker wetting snog in the back of a taxi can be just as exciting and meaningful as a gentle loving kiss on the forehead or nose. Good kissers should literally take your breath away and make you see stars – I’ve been lucky enough to have a few of these and they were amazing.

If you’ve decided to make some changes for 2017, make sure that you avoid bad kissers and bad kissing. Life is too short, so go out and find the best kissers possible. The really good ones are definitely worth the wait. 😉



Posted in 2017, bad kisser, bad kissing, good kisser, kiss, kisses, kissing, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A Good Old Fashioned Shafting


Hello my dear Minx Lovers,

I hope you’re all well and had a lovely Halloween. I was planning on doing a spooky themed blog tonight, but seeing as the Australian rugby team just provided Wales with a fantastic example of getting shafted, I thought I’d write about that instead.


I will come straight out and say it. I’m not the biggest fan. The reason being is that 80% of the time, the men in my life have completely sucked balls at it, and like a soufle, either get it perfect or it’s ruined.

The first time I tried, we didn’t really plan it well.I can’t actually remember who the guy was, but the pain has been scorched onto my soul and sexual being like a branding iron.

I was so young and naive and stupid I didn’t realise the importance of lube, taking it slowly, or changing position to ease it in. Now, even the smaller end of the cock-sphere can and WILL feel like a Giant Redwood being forced up your arse if you do it wrong, and no lube only adds to the problem. So what did it feel like?

Take the aforementioned Redwood, wrap it in sandpaper and add a dash of vinegar and chilli sauce – now image that being rammed up your arsehole – a device which is designed to allow soft things to leave, not large hard pokey things to enter.

The pain – fuck me. The pain was incredible. It was like being burned and punched in the stomach and stabbed all at the same time. A blistering stinging aching throbbing cunt of a pain. A complete bastard. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t really breath. It was fucking awful.

After a couple of different goes (with different guys) I actually found that it could be both pleasant and satisfying. You have to go slowly – ease it in gently, gently, softly, and then….bingo! Kind of feels nice….and then nicer, and obviously you’ve got the fact it’s dirty, which adds to everything as being filthy is a turn on.

So thoughts / questions?

What kind of speed? Too fast – no. Jack-hammering in any situation is for stupid naive boys who don’t know what they’re doing. If you’re still fucking like that you need to stop right now, because you’ll hurt your partner and tear things. You need to start off really really slowly. Also, if you do that to someone, and they feel The PAIN….you’re likely to be the next person to feel The PAIN.

Will I bleed? – more than likely – and don’t let the guy get away with feeling all smug because he literally just tore you a new one. Tiny cocks can do just as much internal damage as big ones. Be prepared for the blood – wasn’t expecting that either and it freaked me out.

What helps? USE LUBE! Lots of lube. Buy lube JUST for anal. (The type that doesn’t eat its way through latex so your condoms are safe). Take your time! This is something you kind of have to plan for – avoiding spicey food / excess meals the day before is a good idea.

Wash gently…try and go to the loo before, as it will at least ease the obvious factor that you’re shoving a cock into a place where poo comes out. Worrying about that side of things is a mood killer. Accept that poo and blood are potential factors if you’re going for anal, and get over it.

Element of surprise? NO! Fuck me…the number of “Oh Whoops I slipped/ Can I just / Baby can we..?” conversations I’ve had mid-sex is ridiculous. The Australian team fucked Wales up the arse today without so much as a by your leave and how did that feel? Exactly. Ask permission FIRST!

Expected? As far as I can recall – no sex should EVER be expected. Just because you’re dating someone doesn’t mean they have to EVER let you fuck them in the arse, or vice versa. I don’t give a flying fuck how much sexting/porn-watching/causal/open relationship/hey bae let’s get crazy/ hormone driven the world is getting. Nobody owes anyone any time of sex EVER and anal is very much included.

What does it feel like when you do it wrong?

As I said….Giant Redwood wrapped in sandpaper rammed repeatedly up your arse.

And when it goes right?

Can be a really decent night in! 🙂 Bit dirty..bit kinky and if you’re with the right person…yeah, not bad.

Things to watch out for?

In my experience anal sex is like the ultimate goal for men and they turn into whining whingeing babies about it. Having anal sadly encourages this annoying behaviour, but don’t do it TOO often. I have a friend who worked in porn once told me about the day when a poor girl suffered a rectal prolapse. Just saying.

Don’t use the good sheets. Trust me on this one.

I’ve deliberately avoided anal with men over a certain size. If you’re struggling to fit someone inside your pussy without the aid of a shoehorn, think of what that’s going to do to your arse. (this is the part where some of the people  I’ve slept with realise I’ve had bigger.)

For medium to smaller sized cocks, anal can be really fun. Even teeny cocks feel huge when they go through the back door so it can actually improve your sex life.

Anyway,I’ve calmed down enough now to open a bottle of fizz to take away the sting of the rugby, so time to bail.

Have a happy bonfire night one and all and speak soon!





Posted in anal sex, bad boys, bad girls, cock size, pain, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

A Sparky First Date



Good evening Minx lovers, how have we all been?

Tonight’s blog will be all about first dates, and the sheer joy of (eventually) bumping into someone that you actually have SPARKS with.

The last 6 months of dating can be summed up as a Disney right-off. I’ve met the dating equivalent of the Seven Dwarves (Sleazy, Dopey, Grumpy, Skinny, Skanky, Bashful and Pissed).


I’ve met some proper villains, some half-hearted nasty bastards, and some vague little side characters who, like black dots on an optical illusion, vanish if you try to look at them directly. (Give it a month or two and they’ll turn up again, with a vague message along the lines of “LOL, sorry, work’s been mental, how about you.” Yeah yeah, fuck off Christian Grey, nobody’s THAT busy.)

As I say to my friends, with every failed attempt, I end up a little wiser and stronger, and with some great writing material and character ideas that I can squirrel away for future books and plays.

However, each failed attempt is also another little chip into your hope and belief that there are semi decent dudes out there, and sadly, there are plenty of the nasty ones around who lead you on, waste your time and yes…even make a hardened Minx like myself cry.

Dating is and always will be tough. It makes you question yourself, your place in the world, your belief in people, and sometimes you get to a point where you just go


I had reached such a point a few weeks back, and I was in the process of closing down conversations (just vanishing is fucking rude) when I realised one of the guys I’d been chatting to seemed kind of… sparky. Interesting.


We were actually getting along. He was bright, funny, open minded, chilled….he hadn’t once bitched about an ex wife or gf, didn’t have any baggage, and hadn’t asked to see a naked pic.

Yes. Yes that is appalling that just by being a decent guy he was standing out. There are scumbags out there, and any half decent man positively shines. If you have stuff in common – major bonus.

So why was this one different?

For starters, HE asked ME out. I’m a big believer in equal opportunities, and it’s totally cool for girls to ask guys, but you know what? Sometimes, I just want a bit of old fashioned romance, and it makes me feel like I’m dating an old-fashioned man, rather than a lazy / pussy ass boy.

So a lot of first dates suggestions usually consist of a coffee (safe option but if you dribk to many you’ll be high as a kite with eyes like pinholes), a drink (which can translate into a few drinks then maybe crash at mine?) or a meal (terrible idea for a first date – you could be stuck for 2 hours with your eyes glazing over as they show you pictures of their llama / ugly children / car…unless you’re driving something like a 1961 Ferrari GT California, I don’t care.)

He suggested a walk around a park. Bonus points for romantic aspect, and love the fact it was a bit different. We met on the corner by the Rec in Cardiff. He was sitting on a bench, and had been into the library and was flicking through a book. 🙂 More bonus points.

So we met and hugged, and he seemed sweet and a bit shy but very chilled. Now, normally on dates, I’m trying to hold in my natural bounce. I’m one of Nature’s Tiggr types and that is hard to hide and I know that it can be scary. But around him, I immediately felt relaxed and calm. I don’t do calm. This was intriguing.

So we walked and talked..about jobs and work, and music, and films, and books and everything. I can remember at one point I quoted Voltaire, and he finished the quote for me. Hmmmm….bright and well read. Nice.

We walked around the lake, then sat for an hour and watched people on paddle boats. I felt happy and relaxed, and was really enjoying his company. When he suggested dinner, it was an immediate yes.

Now, for regular readers, you know I like my food and I’m a carnivor – sex blog aside – I really like my meat. When he suggested a vegan place, I was intrigued and decided that it would be cool to try something new. It was an awesome restaurant and the food was incredible.

During the meal, he chatted and only touched his phone to check in with a friend he was meeting later. He actually asked if I minded if he called his mate. Proper old school gentleman stuff.

I was really gutted when I had to go, and as we left, I realised we’d been out for nearly 4 hours.

It may not have been everyone’s cup of tea, but that was my kind of first date. Romantic, simple, great conversation, great company, and great food. He was sweet and kind and thoughtful, and genuinely interested in me, and making a good impression. No awkwardness…just easy, fun, and flirty. Perfect.

This is the reason why I keep dating. For all the crap you go through, for all the frogs (and toads, weasels, ratbags, fuckwits and just plain DICKS) that are out there….there are still some decent guys out there, and every now and again, you’ll go on a date that is wonderful, where you spark with someone.













Posted in dating, dating in your 30s, dating instincts, dating issues, first date, first dates, internet dating, online dating, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I’m SEXY and I know it!

I'm sexy and I know it


Dear Minxes,

Welcome to autumn! I hope you all had a fabulous summer and are settling back into work/school routines well.

I have a special blog for you today, one which I have been planning for a long time.

This is all about the issues people face with body image, looks, and especially weight and how that can prevent people from feeling sexy. Here’s my story.

I’ve always been curvy. Not always overweight, but in school, at say 12/13, if my friends were a size 8 or 6, I was a 10. Boo-fucking-hoo now right? I’d literally chop off my right arm to have that figure back (I’d probably need to to fit into the jeans). But that’s when I started noticing, and other girls start noticing the way they look, their size, height, hair colour, skin colour, and weight. It was a thing, but it didn’t cripple me. That came later.

In my teens and twenties I wasn’t really into fashion or makeup. I never felt 100% like I knew what I was doing, and I didn’t care. I started drinking in sixth form, and then a lot more uni, and I put on the obligatory fresher’s 10 (pounds) or more like a stone between 18 and 22.

I still had boyfriends. I still had casual flings. I still had sex. My weight back then had fuck all to do with how attractive I was or am. It was only in my twenties, when I put on a little more, and got a set of weighing scales, that it became a problem to me.

I started working, and the weight went up…I started eating all the snacks and cakes and shit that is around an office, and my weight went up. I got into jobs that were boring, and relationships that weren’t right and started comfort eating, and the weight went up.

Most of this was my own fault. I was eating and drinking and NOT exercising. My sugar consumption was out of control. I was living on sandwiches / take away and large bottles of coke at one point. I was drinking too much, eating too much and doing fuck all about it.

I put on a fuck tonne of weight in my twenties – big fucking deal, most people do.

But what was so much worse was the damage that did to  my confidence, my levels of self esteem and how I viewed myself. There’s one thing not being able to fit into a dress, but feeling like I’m unfuckable? I’m unloveable?

That it’s OK to go out with a douche because who else would want me right? Just because I was a dress size bigger.

It’s not just me.

We seem to be a generation of women who define sexy as being a certain unobtainable goal – we have to be THIS weight and THIS height and have THIS colour hair and skin and wear THESE clothes to be sexy.

We’re bombarded every day by images and thoughts and comments and comparisons. We need external confirmation of our attractiveness, sexiness, fuckability, to feel good. No.


This is FUCKING BULLSHIT. Sexy comes from WITHIN.

To feel sexy you have to believe in yourself and feel confident. You can lose all the weight and by the right clothes and whatever, but it has to come from your self belief in you.

I will prove this. 4 years ago, I had just broken up with a guy I was living with. I went to a friend’s wedding and I just managed to squeeze into my bridesmaid dress. I was feeling shit, and worried and stressed out and not very sexy at all.

Over the next four years, (during the course of which I put on an additional two stone) I had three medium term relationships, and some good sex, but I started to feel worse about myself, and was worried and stressed and losing confidence.

In January this year, after splitting with the man-cub, I decided that for the sake of my physical AND mental health I really should take control and do something about it.

I spent 8 months of training down the gym…better eating, NOT crash dieting, NOT fad dieting, and NOT giving up anything. I want to be healthy not a fucking saint. I started getting more sleep, and getting a lot more fresh air. I was walking a lot. I cut down on booze and caffeine and sugar. I started looking at the stressful areas of my life and making ways to change them. I’ve taken up dance classes, and started spending more time on things I really enjoy.

The result – I’ve finally made it back to the same size and weight I was at that wedding 4 years ago, but this time it’s different. I’m still curvy and still have work to do, but the way I look at myself has completely changed.

I’m happier, healthier, and I’ve got a lot more energy. The training and the exercise has been incredibly for me, but mostly because it’s helped me to feel like I’m back to my old self. In terms of this blog, one of the most important things is that my self confidence and self esteem has started to come back. That’s right. I feel sexy again.

I’m so fucking proud of how much fitter and healthier I am – that’s been amazing, especially getting back into dresses I haven’t worn since I was in my 20s and being able to walk up a hill without feeling like I’m going to die.

During this last 8 months I’ve realised that my weight, bigger or smaller… has fuck all to do with how sexy I feel. Getting fit was a good thing, but it was trigger to helping me get back into a good head space, NOT the key.

It doesn’t matter how much you weigh or how much you diet or train…feeling sexy comes from within.

So say it loud and proud Minx lovers:

I’m sexy and I know!




Posted in curvy girls, feeling sexy, I'm sexy and I know it, personal growth, skinny girls, Uncategorized, weightloss | Leave a comment

A Minx’s Guide to Dating: Red Flags (or listen to your gut!)

Red flag.jpg


Good evening my dear Minx lovers, I hope you are all well!

Tonight’s blog is going to be looking at one of the most important rules of dating. There are many different things to consider when perusing the market place, looking for your next beau. There are plenty of fish out there, but it’s important to remember that there are plenty of sharks too.

While being in the middle of this sea of choices can be confusing and more than a little scary at times, it’s important not to lose your way, and to remember to listen to your own instincts about people.

Sometimes, for no apparent reason, you’ll get a bad vibe from or about someone. Your brain will flash up a giant metaphorical red flag. You may not even know the reason why – it could be over nothing, but all of a sudden, you are having second thoughts about someone.

The tricky part about dating is that it can make you feel nervous, reserved and worried at the best of times, and your natural instinct may be to just dismiss the red flag as a minor worry or cold feet. This is where you need to stop, pause and think.

Your brain and your body are high concept machines designed to pick up on bad juujuu from other people. We have evolved a very complex system of body language and other subtle forms of communication, to be able to spot and identify potential threats to ourselves. It’s how we have survived so long.

Gut feeling is a huge part of our survival instinct, and your body and inner brain can pick up on potential issues far quicker than your conscious mind (which, let’s face it, is driven by hunger, your sex drive, the mortgage payments, far more day to day stuff).

I’ll give you a few recent examples.

I was chatting to a guy on Tinder last week. I started getting the prickly feeling – massive red flag but I couldn’t figure out why. His messages were a little flirty, perhaps on the edgier side of banter, but not too bad. Then they started getting controlling / offensive / obnoxious. This is, of course, in my opinion, and could easily be explained away as me choosing the tone and putting my own interpretation on it. Well guess what happened next?

When I mentioned I’d been out on a Saturday (after saying I was busy) I was sent:

“Who with?”


“Oh – so you could have met me today then!”

I read that as controlling and / or self absorbed and stupid. NO. I couldn’t. I had spent some time with my friend, rather than ditch her for some dude I’d been chatting to briefly and not actually met yet. This wasn’t accepted as a good enough reason.

To buy my incredulity some time ( and to see what he’d do next) I asked him what he’d been up to. This was the weekend of the Pride festival in Cardiff.

He responded along the lines of:

“Oh, well I haven’t been outside today, because, you know…… It’s gay day, and….”


While I openly admit that digital / social media makes it really hard to judge tone, and it’s really easy to misread something, sometimes you really do have to listen to your gut.

The conversation continued. He had previously demanded that I come and pick him up – no please – which I had taken as a joke. It hadn’t been a joke. He turned out to be a homophobic, selfish, controlling prick (with crazy eyebrows) who assumed I would drop everything for him. Nice eh?

My point is that I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, and I am glad I tried and pushed through the minor alarm bells. However, once a red flag comes up – that’s me done.

In the past, I have made excuses for bad behaviour, clashes of values, cheating, addictions of various kinds. I have put up with unbelievable stupidity, lateness, bad spelling, someone trying to convert me to “save my soul”, being guilt tripped for putting someone in the friend-zone, emotional abuse, bullying, and a general lack of effort.

Guess what? That’s right. They never apologised, or changed. It never got better. It only got worse. I ended up single anyway.

These days, when I see a red flag, I’m gone.

I’m 32. I’m sexy, confident, and I’m not going to put up with this kind of shit any more. I suggest you do the same.

If you spot a red flag – RUN.





Posted in dating, dating in your 20s vs dating in your 30s, dating in your 30s, dating instincts, dating issues, fuckwits, internet dating, not putting up with shit, online dating, red flags, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Songs to help with a breakup and moving on Part 2


Hello minxes!

Had your music inspired emotional exorcism? Feeling better? Good – and about fucking time!

The second part of this list is for when you’ve had your cry / rant, a few weeks and months have gone by, and you realise that you are still awesome, and you’re ready to pull your shit together, and move on.

OK one of my top dance tunes to get this list going.

Just a Little More Love – David Guetta Wally Lopez remix. This is a really bouncy, positive tune that always makes me smile and gets me moving. Lyrics are upbeat and basically does what it says on the tin “Just a little more love /Just a little more peace/ Is all it takes to live the dream”.

Queen – I Want to Break Free . Amazing beat to this track, one of my favourites by Queen. It’s all about embracing and loving yourself first. As Freddie says

“God knows got to make it on my own”

I’m Still Standing – Elton John. “I’m still standing after all this time / Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind”. Really upbeat song that shows life goes on and you can go on, I love its defiance.

Things Can Only Get Better – D:Ream. I’m a huge fan of early 90s dance, and I fucking love this tune. It was well before my dancing/clubbing days, but I can remember listening to this type of music and my face just lighting up. The combination of the dance beats in this track plus the unwavering blind optimism of the lyrics always makes me smile.

“I look at things now in a different light than I did before” – that’s a solid plan for anyone feeling a bit lost.

Country Girl (Shake It For Me) – Luke Bryan. I was introduced to this dude by a very dear friend a few years back (thanks Bear!) and every time I need a bit of cheering up I just stick this video on. It’s a great song with a dirty country/rock vibe and I just love watching that man shake his ass. This has given me serious Cowboy issues. Grrrr.

All Right Now – Free. One of the staple tunes in my personal songbook that has been there for as long as I can remember. A celebration of freedom and free love, an eternal anthem for grabbing and living in the moment. Carpe Diem baby.


And finally…Dangerzone – Kenny Loggins.

As regular readers will know, I am a HUGE fan of Top Gun, and this song is one of the reasons why. I love everything about it – the 80s power chords, the instantly recognisable riff, the vaguely abstract lyrics encouraging a speed obsession. Magic, pure and simple.

So these are my tunes for feeling awesome. Hopefully you’ve spotted at least one that you can identify with, but if not – get off your arse and go and make your own feel good playlist.

Music has always been an integral part of relationships, from the courtship stage, to the celebration of love, and is equally important on the other side when things go tits up and you’re hurting.

Music is a huge part of my life and there is always a song that will be able to awaken, or encourage you to tap into feelings, invoke a memory, or energise you into feeling better.

Breakups suck. Playlists don’t have to.

Find some mates, stick some tunes on and get back out there.

Have an awesome day minx lovers.




Posted in Being single, breakup songs, breakups, How to get over my ex, music, songs to help with a breakup, Uncategorized | Leave a comment