Valentine’s Day 2019 or “Chinese food and Labradors don’t mix”

bad puppy

Hello my dear minx lovers, and how the devil are you all?

Apologies for the silent running over the last few weeks but I have have been head down  job searching, which I am pleased to say, has paid off.

Right, so let me catch you up. I’ve been quite focused on career / personal goals over the last few months, and at times like that, especially at massive crossroads in your life, it can be damn near impossible to find the time, let alone the energy, to date. I haven’t had any dates, in any sense of the word, since New Year’s Day, and nearly missed V Day completely.

However, had some cracking news this week, so thought I’d call up a friend to celebrate. We had been on a few dates, and whilst there had been good banter and some sparks, it had turned out to be a damp squib. Months went by between meetings, and we never really got it together, no kissing, nothing, so I drew a mental line and thought he’s a cool guy so I’ll keep in touch.

Anyway, I wanted to celebrate, and he’s just landed a new job, so I suggested that we get a Chinese and chill out at his with his flatmates. Nothing romantic, no sexy ideas at all. Looking back, I can appreciate the ambiguity of this idea, but he’d done nothing to make a move and I thought we had put each other firmly in the Friendzone.

So grabbing a leftover bottle of Tesco’s cheapest Buck’s Fizz (because I am skint) I wandered over and turned up an hour after work.

He let me in, then slumped back to where he had been sitting – in his kitchen/lounge, staring at a wide screen TV on the wall. He had a bottle of red in front of him, which he had put a huge dent in and was already nearly gone and he was between merry and pissed. His house mate was cooking dinner and introduced himself, then got me a glass for my Buck’s Fizz. My date stayed firmly focused on watching Top Gear, having a distracted conversation with me over his shoulder as he watched Clarkson and Co.

We ordered the Chinese and he finished the red wine, and burped – not just burped, but properly BELCHED. I swear the glasses rattled. He said nothing. I blinked. His housemate paused. He then laughed and staggered upstairs to have a shower.

So yeah, not remotely romantic right? Basically acting blokey around his female mate, relaxed in his own home, fair play? I filled up my glass and chatted to his housemate before he came back down. The food arrived, and we sorted ourselves out, then carried on watching Top Gear. He leans against me and we just chill. He snuggled back against me,  telling me he has a massage chair upstairs.

“That’s nice. Why are you telling me? Do you want to sell it for you or are you just bragging?”

Looking wounded, he seemed genuinely surprised that I don’t fancy giving him a massage.

All of a sudden, after the food, he seemed to wake up. He holds my hand, and I think “awww”, which quickly changes to “cunt” when he guides it ever so lovingly towards his groin and uses it to touch his penis through his jeans. I snatch my hand away and glare down at his head, reminding him we’re not a couple, we haven’t even kissed and wondering what he’s going to do next.

He thinks about this for a second, before turning around and kissing me, as if to solve this problem. Then in a gesture I believe he thought to be romantic, spun around and began to inch up my body, as if hoisting himself up and climbing my tits. Ever seen a baby seal running away? Like that but diagonal, across a person. Now some of you might be thinking this was all terrible and I should be more angry. In truth it was like hanging out with badly trained but very affectionate pissed Labrador. Annoying, but harmless and sweet.

At this point, as I was glaring at him and about to tell him to knock it the fuck off, my stomach area was suddenly hit by a sharp pain, and waves of heat burst across my face, neck and roll down my body. I momentarily froze and he noticed the pain flashing across my face.

The Labrador paused and asked if I was OK. It seemed that I had been saved from an awkward puppy training moment by temporary food poisoning. The pain racked up in intensity in little under a minute. As rubbish as he’d been, I was genuinely afraid I was about the puke in the guy’s face, or worse, lose my arse and shit myself on his sofa. I could barely talk, but managed to squeak that I was fine and needed a wee. I staggered upstairs, trying desperately to figure out which end of me was likely to explode first.

Slamming the bathroom door shut, I began to pray. The pain had reached it’s pinnacle. Beads of icy sweat were forming on my top lip, and my teeth were clenched together to stifle the moans. Waves of dizziness were making spots dance in front of my face as my stomach churned barbed wire. I sat there for a full five minutes, waiting, waiting….I made Rumpelstiltskin style deals whilst sitting there that would make the devil blush.

But……nothing.

NOTHING! No puking. No nuclear rainbow shits. I had been expecting Jackson Pollock style activity all over his nice clean bathroom. Literally nothing happened. The pain receded and I wimpered, pulled up my jeans, and hugged the toilet to soak in the cold of the porcelain. Dizziness still shuddered through me, but it was fading.

It was a MIRACLE. I had been saved by the Ghost of Botulism Past.

Heading downstairs, I made my excuses and promising to message as soon as I got home, vacated the house. The fresh air hit me, clearing my swimming head, and easing the dizziness. It was at this point I realised that just before the Chinese arrived and during his shower, I had had a glass in my hand whilst chatting to the Labrador’s housemate. We had a lot in common, and during this chat I relaxed for the first time all night….and pretty much necked the entire bottle of Buck’s Fizz. Whilst only 3%, it was the fizzy, cheap, nasty type….that could even have been maybe a tiny bit out of date. Either way, it was nasty enough and cheap enough that when it hit the rice in my stomach, things rapidly expanded, causing my sudden bouts of pain and near-arse experience.

Lesson learned……Buck’s Fizz does NOT mix well with too much Chinese and I’m not a big fan of men who haven’t been housebroken.

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littlewelshminx

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Wish List of a LittleWelshMinx: 2019

Happy-New-Year-2019-e1546442876523.jpg

Hello Minx Lovers and a Happy New Year to you one and all!

I thought I’d kick off the New Year with a brand new Wish List for 2019 – things for me and things for the wider Minx community.

Love.jpg

  1. A little more love. First things first, we are living through some pretty dark times at the moment. The political situation at home and abroad has gone mental, the news is constantly full of doom and gloom, and thanks to the joys of unregulated ‘journalism’ on social media, everyone is constantly spewing their opinions, thoughts and feelings about everything, every second of every minute of the day. We are living in a constant barrage of negativity and I’ve had a fucking guts full. So…to paraphrase the fabulous Cameron….I’m going to take a stand. I’m here today to ask all of you to join me in showing, and encouraging, a little more love in the world. It’s so fucking easy to look around, and shake your head, and just moan. Don’t do that! Show a little more love. We all need love. We could all do with some more. Even if just one of you does something to show a little more love just once, that’s one more act of love out there. And fuck knows we need it. We, my minxy fans, are the sexy rebel alliance fighting against this tide of hate, anger, judgement, fuckwittery and general cuntishness. And best way to fight darkness is with light. So show a little more love.                                                    Kisses
  2. Kisses. I LOVE kisses. I don’t get enough quality kisses. I’ve had plenty, many of which were lovely, some were, to be frank, fucking appalling. But no longer will I stand for that! This year I will be looking for and giving quality kisses. Knee-trembling kisses. Hands-in-hair kisses. Fingers stroking cheeks, backs, bums, skin shivery, breathing-catching kisses. I want superb snogs. Terrific tongue-tonsilling. Lush lip-locking. A thing I’ve read about kissing (and seen with long-term couples I know) is that the happiest ones kiss a LOT. So pucker up buttercups! Words.jpg
  3. Celebrating beauty with beautiful words. So many of us (me included) use simplistic language to describe and compliment people we like or find attractive or are dating. The common one is to call someone hot. Whilst meant as a compliment, you’re just stating your own sexual arousal, got me? 🙂 We live in an age when women and men alike are suffering from serious body issues, mostly from the fact we are observing each other and being observed ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY. With camera phones, social media and 24/hour news updates, we’ve become a race of Meerkats on speed – constantly checking and looking and comparing. And it makes us all feel shit! So many people have told me over the years that they don’t think they are sexy, or pretty, or handsome, or something ‘enough’ and every time it broke my fucking heart. I’d think to myself, where is their man or woman, and why haven’t they told this person in front of me that they think they are beautiful? What can we do about it? Well…how about starting with giving your significant other a meaningful compliment, and celebrating beauty with beautiful, meaningful language. If you think your partner is beautiful or handsome, tell them! Tell them often. Tell them everyday. Tell her she is beautiful and tell him he is handsome, and see the difference it makes.                       Retro dating.jpg
  4. Retro dating. I am going to make a big effort to keep my 2019 dates as old school as possible this year. I’m currently taking a break from dating sites. When I go back online, my plan is to use the sites for first encounters and to bring it offline asap, for proper dates and time together. I have found that so many of my relationships, romantic and otherwise, have become reduced to screen time. Over Christmas, I was lucky enough to see a lot of dear old friends and family members face to face. I sent and received Christmas cards, and visited people. I spoke to people on the phone, and spent quality time with them. I even turned my phone off. The whole experience reminded me of my early dating experiences – the landline phone calls, the confirmed dates you couldn’t cancel en-route or last minute – the hours spent together doing literally fuck all, but enjoying it anyway because you were together. Dating used to require a lot more time, effort, planning, and let’s face it – bollocks. Calling someone’s landline was terrifying, but hearing someone’s voice was worth it. I think that it’s easy to forget social media was designed to speed up communications and make plans with people, not replace face-to-face and personal connections, but that’s what’s happened. So I’m going to back to basics. I’ll let you know how it goes!                          Mae-West.jpg
  5. My own happiness. I’ve spent a lot of the last 2 years trying to figure out what makes me happy, and spending more time/effort in those areas. My discoveries have been quite surprising, but have been very important. To find love, you need to feel love for yourself, secure, and peaceful inside. I’ve let that slip a lot over the years, and perhaps, unsurprisingly, I’m still single. I’m going to spend a bit more time on me this year, so that when I do go out into Datingland again, I’m in a much better Minxy condition to be loving, and hopefully, loved back.

That’s my Wish List for 2019! Please share your own sexy and love stories with me, and help me make 2019 The Year of More LOVE!

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littlewelshminx

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The Minx Guide to: Festive Fucking

Sexy santa 2

Hello my dear minx lovers, and ho ho holy crap it’s nearly Christmas day!

With the seasonal spirit already in full swing and The Big Day creeping ever nearer, I wanted to write this blog about sex during the season of goodwill, and give you all a basic guide to Festive Fucking.

At Christmas time, we are all frantically busy, and usually quite stressed out. There’s food shopping, present shopping, miscellaneous seasonal shopping (scissors / sellotape / string / batteries / tinsel and trees / nativity outfits / Christmas cards / driving/ shopping and everything else. So when can we fit in a Festive Fuck whilst managing the kids, travel, guests, and everything else?

Never fear, the Minx is here with some sexy seasonal advice to keep you going through the holidays.

Festive fucking 2

Christmas Eve – By Christmas Eve you’ve more than likely made it to your holiday destination or your guests have arrived. You’ll be prepping, packing up pressies and doing your best not to strangle the kids. Lots of stress and pressure and not much time for nookie, right? True, BUT, this is a good day to practice the ever so sneaky art of the Quickie, by using the classic Christmas line “Don’t come in here! I’m busy!” This will give you the chance for a swift, hopefully undisturbed grope, made all the more exciting by the risk factor. Dangerous, yes. Chances of getting caught, pretty high. Pros – you get laid, and for anyone who catches you, you’ve sorted out what to buy next year. A lock for the bedroom door.

Christmas Day – this is far trickier as people expect to spend more time together on Christmas day. For those without kids, but with adult guests, you have the grace of an early morning lie-in so you could probably manage a quick spoon if you’re quiet. For people visiting family or friends, again, early morning / post-lunch siesta time would be good, but as a guest try to keep it quiet to not piss off your host. For couples without kids / flying solo….I salute you! Go as fucking crazy as you like.

Boxing Day – usually means a hangover of epic proportions, combined with a bloated stomach and being absolutely fucking knackered. For parents – just leave it. Sleep and recoup while you can – maybe try and squeeze in a grope in the evening. For the rest of you, the pressure’s off, there’s no more stress about cooking and the day is yours. If you are in a couple, you might have been lucky enough to have some sexy presents from the day before…today is the day to find some batteries / see if it fits. If you’re still feeling rough, have a cwtch / a wank, and wait until the room stops spinning.

Ho ho ho.jpg

Post-Christmas Limbo days – the days between Boxing Day and NYE usually pass in a blur of food, booze, parties, and socialising. Days melt together, and everyone is usually out and about…giving you the PERFECT excuse /cover for some post-Christmas friskiness. This is hopefully a chance for when the people with kids can hand them over to the grandparents, and collapse upstairs in bed together for a few hours to remind themselves how they made the kids in the first place. For the childfree, if you’ve been apart from your significant other, this is a good time for a reunion. Get tied up, down and dirty, find some mistletoe and see who’s been a bad boy or girl.

New Year’s Eve – this is a bit of a Marmite event in my experience, and people either love or hate NYE. In my circle of friends, a lot of couples I know stay in (and presumably fuck) or go to coupley parties with other couples. Myself and the single crew hang out at house parties, bars, pubs (or clubs back in the day), sometimes heading into town, and approach various stages of getting battered. For us, it’s about friends, not fucking. However, I do know that for some people, NYE is pinnacle of their social media whiplash, when they hope that SHE or HE will the THERE and this is the CHANCE for hooking up at last. There is a lot of hype over NYE and people put a lot of pressure on themselves (and their prospective beauxs / belles) for this to be IT. Personally – I think NYE can be a romantic time/place to start something, maybe have a snog, but it isn’t a great time for a hook up. Real life isn’t like the movies, and you’re more like to catch an STD than catch a falling star on 31st. Maybe use it as a time to check out the talent for the next year – it’s only a few hours away after all.

Sexy santa

Final thoughts from me?

Christmas can be tough for everyone – coupled up and single alike. Don’t be too down on yourself, too smug, or too worried about other people, what they’re doing or where you are this Christmas and NYE. If you get a chance to fuck – fantastic! If not – don’t worry, there’s always next year.

This is the busiest time of the year for conceptions, and subsequently, catching nasties. If you’re not after a baby, or an unexpected STD, wrap it up!

Remember to take time to love YOURSELF this Christmas, whether that means some metal TLC, or a sock with lube. Trust me, you’re worth it.

Happy holidays and have fun with the festive fucking!

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littlewelshminx

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A Minxy Guide to Winter Dating

Winter dating

Hello my minx lovers, and how are you all?

As the year turns and slides into the colder months, I thought today’s blog could look at dating in the winter. People become single at all times of the year, and yet it seems that there is a certain pressure or expectation to hook up before the school year / autumn begins, so that you have a date for the big holidays – see earlier blog on Cuffing (see earlier blog). A lot of people feel that if you miss your chance in September, you are doomed to spend the next six alone, as people don’t like to date in the winter, as it’s a rubbish time to meet people

However, I would like to challenge this misconception. Winter dating can be a lot of fun. There are plenty of things to do, it can involve a lot of food (always my favourite!) and if it goes well, you have the big holidays to potentially take things to the next level.

Back to Nature

This is a great time to wrap up and explore the great outdoors. The best part about getting outside at this time of the year is that it’s quiet, and you won’t have to contend with the queues, screaming kids, and wasps that come hand-in-hand with places in the summer. I’m a huge fan of my local parks – they look amazing in the autumn and winter, and are a beautiful place to go for a stroll with someone.

Roath park in autumn

Brecon beacons in winter.jpg  Winter beach

Along the same theme, you could try your local beach, or if you’re a history or gardening buff, maybe something like a National Trust House, English Heritage Castle, or open garden. For the more adventurous, and perhaps after the first few dates, you could try going on a “proper walk”, (as in the Brecon Beacons, up hills, moors, dales etc). There are loads of beautiful places in Wales to explore, and plenty of mountains, waterfalls and rocky things to get your teeth stuck into. If it snows, you get to be super romantic and engage in snowball warfare. These types of dates are perfect for people who don’t mind fresh air and getting active, but not so great if you don’t like the cold. They can be very romantic, but you can also risk freezing your tits off. 🙂

Movie night.

Cinema dates

If you want to escape the cold you could go on a classic date to the cinema – Saturday or otherwise. Find a blockbuster, indie flick, adventure or comedy, and go and relax in front of the big screen. There are always great films out near Christmas, and loads of pop-up cinemas now show seasonal films. Pros? Cosy, fun night out, perfect for film lovers, and afterwards you can chat about the film after over a coffee, cocktail (or pint!). Pros – easy, simple and fun thing to do on a second or third date, also great for established couples. Cons – cinema tickets can be pricey, with some roughly costing the same as a small car. You can avoid this by booking in advance and going midweek, or looking for deals – those delightful Meercats should be able to assist. Not great for a first date, as it leaves little time for chatting, because whilst you might be keen to talk to your date, the rest of the audience doesn’t want to take part. Shut up, hold their hand (or something else!) and enjoy the film.

Coffee (and cake!)

Coffee

Late autumn and winter is the perfect time to go for a simple coffee with someone. If it’s cold out (I live in Wales, so it’s usually cold AND wet) then go and meet someone in a local coffee shop to escape the crappy weather. You could turn this into a retro date by ignoring the wifi password, forgetting your phone and properly having a chat with someone. Pros – LOADS of coffee places everywhere. They often serve cake. Did I mention the cake? So much choice for coffee. And cake. They also serve tea and other types of drinks for anyone about to whinge that they don’t drink coffee. Since the 90s coffee drinking has taken off and is considered by some to be sophisticated and cultured. One of my best mates only drinks coffee. I think when he’s drinking coffee he pretends he’s somewhere like France or Italy, and basically James Bond. Worth a try. Cons. Coffee can be a bit like cinema tickets in terms of expense. Cake can also be expensive. BUT if you run out of cash you could always use coffee as an invitation ( bait) to come and see your pad. “I have a coffee machine at mine…” 😉 Or just leave a trail of cake…it would work for me.

Dinner date

Dinner date

Following on from the food and drink theme, you could use the cold dark months to explore the culinary offerings of your city/ home town. Think about dinner dates in early November / January and early / late Feb – basically before and after Christmas/New Year/Valentine’s Day. Places are quieter, and restaurants have more special offers on to boost trade. This gives you a chance to try really amazing food at a great price, and maybe even find a new local place for you and your new squeeze to share. I LOVE food, and going out for sushi, Sunday roasts, Caribbean food, Italian and Chinese. Now i’m starving! This is a little trickier if you have different food tastes requirements, and can unfortunately lead to the premature end of relationships. (I once ditched a guy for trying to convince me to try cheeseless pizza and that cheese is the devil. It prompted the quickest and loudest NO from dating HQ collective I have ever received.) Also tricky if you like meat / they’re a vegan / gluten free / don’t eat fish etc. However, plenty of choice these days makes it easier.

Netflix and chill

Netflix and chill

Need I say more? If you really can’t be arsed going out, you can have a night in. Fire your laptop up, order some takeaway, snuggle down and get busy. You might even watch some good TV.

See! There are loads of cool things to do in the winter. I didn’t even mention the Welsh classics of the Pub, going to the rugby, or plain old getting pissed. Don’t write the winter off as a no-date zone. Winter dating is fun, doesn’t have to be expensive, and at the very least, might lead to some other ways of keeping warm.

Have fun and watch that frostbite!

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littlewelshminx

 

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Turf Wars: The Geographical Issues of a Breakup

Turf wars

Evening my dear Minx lovers and welcome to another blog.

I was having an evening out with a friend last night and I invited her to my part of town to grab some food. Afterwards, while we were wandering back to her car, she paused, giggled and said “I think I used to fuck someone around here. Haven’t been back for years!”

This got my thinking about the geography of dating. During a relationship, a couple not only shares time, but you also share spaces, and places together. The first place you met, the first place you went on a date, your local bar or pub or cafe, your first place together…the list just goes on and on.

If things go sour, you can be left with the difficult issue of how to deal with the shared places and spaces. Splitting up the contents of a home, and returning possessions might be painful, but is at least possible. How do you equally divide up a favourite restaurant, a park, a beach, or even a neighbourhood?

Going back a few years, Uni turf was complicated. It was a lot harder to avoid someone if you lived in the same halls, the same neighbourhood, caught the same bus into town, or in the worst situation, were on the same course. Cities may be big places, but the realities of day to day studying and cheap drinks in local bars or the union would keep throwing you together. If you were inclined to experiment 😉 then you ran the risk of not only bumping into one ex, but exes, flings, fuck buddies, and some guy you kind of remember kissing in some dodgy back bar, not just once, but OVER and OVER again. This gets really awkward if you can’t remember their names (which is made so much worse by the obvious “Heeeeeey……..YOU!”)

About 7 years ago I moved to live with someone in Gloucester. The town was his. We spent the weekends with his parents in another town a few hours away. Everything was based on making a life around his house, his job etc, which is part of the reason it didn’t work out. I moved out, and to this day, in my mind, Gloucester remains HIS turf, and I was more than happy to concede.

Laters

More recently,  a few years I was dating someone I met through work. I was commuting 25 miles a day, and we started hanging out while I was getting to know the town, and avoiding traffic and my boring empty flat. In this case, when we broke up, I was still working there, and actually loved the town and the beach. I kept visiting most weekends  for another 18 months, and to this day consider the place to be under joint custody. Fuck giving up Joe’s, best ice cream ever. 🙂

However, I have also experienced some pretty savage issues to do with turf wars. One relationship mostly took place around my home town, not far from Cardiff, where my parents still live. The guy in question used to live in another town close to Cardiff, where some friends have now moved. This was one of those relationships that cut deep, and left some serious emotional scars. It means means that every time I pass these places, I flinch, and unfortunately, it’s not somewhere I can avoid.

In another situation, I was involved in a very intense relationship whilst working and living in Cardiff. This took place mostly in places where we could have as much peace and privacy as possible, but I worked in town, and unfortunately so did he. I was in pieces when it ended, to the point I took a job 50 miles away to get away from the pain, and all of the places that reminded me of him. He used to work in the city centre late at night, and it took a long time before I was ready to come back and reclaim the city as my own. I know think of it as my turf, and I’m fucked if I’m letting a broken heart run me out again.

So what have I learned from my own experiences of Relationship Geography?

First of all, don’t shit where you eat! Be aware of issues of turf and territory, especially if you have to share it with someone. This rule is very applicable at work, but can easily be applied in Uni, or if you live in a small town or shared neighbourhood with someone.

If you split up with someone, remember that you used to share places as much as pepperoni pizza. Be prepared to have some awkward moments if you still visit the same places. You might even want to have that conversation, just to clarify things “So, I’m still living here, and I still go to these places, just as a head’s up.”

Thirdly, accept that for the moment, and possibly for a while in the future, certain places are going to hold certain feelings and memories. You might want to avoid them for a while. You might want to find new places. However, you still take YOU with you, so running away won’t solve anything.

Whether bittersweet, painful, or just plain embarrassing, one day, you’ll be walking along that street again, and the memory will hit you out of the blue. Hopefully, with enough time, it’ll just make you smile at yourself, shrug, and be ready to make some new memories in that place.

Today, I went back to a bar I haven’t visited since before I scarpered out of town. It looked exactly the same. I chose a different table, made a new memory, and reclaimed a tiny patch of turf. Winner winner. 🙂

Woman holding globe

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littlewelshminx

 

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Minxy guide to dating terms: Ghosting

Ghosting

Dear Minx lovers,

A very Happy Halloween to one and all! Today, to stick with the spooky theme, I’ll be talking about the bad dating practice of Ghosting. (Geddit?)

Ghosting is basically a fancy way of saying someone has completely cut you off and cut you out of their life. There is no warning, no notice, and usually no explanation given. It happens a lot to people using dating websites and apps, but can also happen with friends, colleagues and even family members.

Why do people ghost? They have decided, for whatever reason, that they don’t want to talk to you or see you any more. Instead of doing the decent thing and letting you know this is how they feel (or why) they just stop talking to you one day. As a veteran dater, and someone who talks to people about relationships, I know that this happens a LOT.

It’s usually because the person doing the ghosting is a pussy of epic proportions. They might exude confidence on the outside, but deep down they are basically afraid. Afraid of being honest. Afraid of looking bad. Afraid of acting like a adult. They hope (but don’t actually believe) that you’ll just forget what happened, and not mind or care that they’ve cut you out. They talk themselves into thinking, oh well, it was probably for the best. But deep down, we all know, that it hurts, and is confusing and a really shitty way to treat someone.

It happens a lot on dating sites. Why? Basically online it’s a lot easier to get away with shitty behaviour (see trolling), and to forget/not care about other people. It’s a lot harder to tell someone you’re not keen / want to break up / don’t want to talk to them anymore face to face, but guess what? We now have a vast array of communications tools /platforms and gadgets that allow you to get in touch with someone 24/7. There is NO excuse.

So what are my own experiences of being ghosted. The usual shit online. Start chatting to a nice guy online. Seem to get on. Few days later, he vanishes. Chat to a guy online. He vanishes. Over and over and over again. When people bitch to me that women are too picky and don’t give men a chance, you have to appreciate that part of the reason women are cautious is because of dickhead, cuntish moves like ghosting.

Time is precious for everyone and life is really fucking short. I’m now in my 30s and since passing the dirty 30 mark and suddenly given even less of a fuck than I did before, I really don’t have the time or energy to waste on cockwombles who waste my time.

Truth of the matter is, if someone is really into you, or cares about you, they’ll make the time. It’s that simple. Don’t waste energy and effort by making up weak ass excuses for someone else’s apathy. If they don’t respond, call out their bullshit behaviour. If you want a good example of how to completely nail someone for ghosting, please refer to Pretty in Pink and Molly Ringwald completely destroying Andrew McCarthy for being a grade A cuntwad.

If it happens to you, call it out, then delete their number, block them, and move on.

Life really is too short, and personally, I know I do not have the time or patience for someone who is that much of a spineless twat. Don’t put up with it, and don’t do it!

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littlewelshminx

 

 

 

Posted in dating, dating in your 20s, dating in your 30s, dating issues, ghosting, internet dating, online dating, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

A Tale of Two Cities: Dating whilst commuting

 

A Tale of Two Cities

Dear Minxes,

A happy Sunday to you all, and I hope you had a lovely weekend! As some of you know, I am working a temp contract, and as such, this has had a major impact upon my day to day life which in turn has an impact on my dating life. So in this blog, I thought I could look at the realities and my experiences so far of living between two cities, and how commuting affects dating and relationships.

First of all, staying even a few nights a week in a different city opens you up to a whole new pool of men – massive bonus. If you’ve never lived in that area, you won’t be bumping into exes in real life, or failed dates and hookups on Bumble and Tinder – another massive bonus.

You get to experiment with the new accent/s and see how it works for you. I’m loving the West Country accent in Bristol (super cute) but have also noticed that there is a high percentage of posh totty in the city, so I’m enjoying listening to a mixture of London/Home Counties RP as well.

Contracting forces you to interact with lots of people in real life situations. I’m staying in digs, working in a new job in a large organisation, using a new branch of my gym and have to eat out while I’m in the city.  I’m only halfway through my contract and I have already met dozens of new people, and got to reconnect with some friends in Bristol. This has been a really nice change, and although I’m not specifically on the hunt at the moment, the face to face element has been refreshing, and feels a lot more like my social life back in sixth form / uni.

You also get to explore a whole range of new places to go on dates, from bars, pubs restaurants, to museums, tourist hot spots and simple sight seeing locations. This is refreshing change, especially if you have lived in the same place for a long time, and spares you from the judgement of the staff at your favourite bars.

Lonely

Cons? You might end up on dates for the wrong reasons. Working on the road / in a new place where you don’t know anyone can be really lonely, and dating / cruising people online can sometimes be more for comfort / boredom than because you’re actually interested in meeting /hooking up. This is basically time wasting, and isn’t a cool thing to do.

You might get in a situation where you are caught between chatting to people in both locations, but because of the travelling, you are unable to actually make enough time to meet up with them either midweek or on the weekend.

Tired woman

Working on the road is also knackering. Whilst split between two locations, I’ve found that I spend at least an extra 10 hours a week in the car / on buses, as well as constantly doing a lot more logistical admin for myself. This, combined with the new job, colleagues, routines, systems, road systems, neighbourhoods, lack of routine and constant stream of new faces is really exhausting. In my case I have been so knackered, rather than get dolled up and make interesting small talk with someone, all I want to do after work is crawl into bed alone.

In reality, the grass isn’t always greener, and people are basically the same everywhere. Moving to a new city isn’t going to magically erase the dickheads, scary stabby psychos, or weak wet wankers from the magical land of dating. There are just as many of those in Bristol as in Cardiff. They’re just a bit taller and talk with a different accent.

So how has my dating experience in Bristol gone. I went on a few very respectable dates with a fellow contractor I met on Bumble. He was bright, funny, sweet and very kind and caring. Turns out he’s also in the middle of a fucked up open relationship situation, and was wondering if I fancied being his Bristol-bit-on-the-side. I gently explained that whilst I may be a currently in my own Minxy-Tale-Of-Two-Cities, I’m a Cardiff girl at heart, I don’t share, and that he could go fuck himself.

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littlewelshminx

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in commuting, dating on the road, new city dating, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

RIP Burt Reynolds

 

burt-reynolds-1.jpg

Hello my dear Minx lovers!

This week, we sadly said goodbye to Burt Reynolds. One of cinema’s top box-office draws and notable sex symbols in the 1970s,  he enjoyed fast cars and seducing his female co-stars.

Burton Leon Reynolds Jr was born on 11th February 1936 in Lansing, Michigan, to Burton Reynolds, who had been in the military and later became a police chief, and Fran Reynolds.

His family moved to Florida, and after graduating from Palm Beach High, he attended Florida State University on a football scholarship, but after a car accident and a series of injuries, he decided to give up his football career. He returned to college with a view of becoming a parole officer. After his English class teacher encouraged him to audition for a play after hearing him read in class, he was offered the lead role and ended up winning the 1956 Florida State Drama Award for his performance.

This award included a scholarship in New York, which led to Reynolds meeting Joanne Woodward, who helped him find an agent and begin his stage career. He began guest staring on TV shows in the late 1950s and went on to star in various TV and film roles during the 1960s.

His breakout role came in 1972 when he starred in Deliverance, and his box office popularity soared. He became known as a Hollywood sex symbol, and gained notoriety by posing naked on a bearskin in the April 1972 issue of Cosomopolitan

Burt Reynolds cosmo

During the 1970s, Reynolds played leading roles in a series of action films and comedies, including White Lightning and Smokey and the Bandit, and he made his directorial debut in 1976 with Gator, sequel to White Lightning. He continued to work and was nominated for the Academy Award for the Best Supporting Actor role by playing a porn director in Boogie Nights. 

His personal life was as busy and varied as his acting career. Reynolds was married to English actress Judy Carne from 1963 to 1965. He and American singer-actress Dinah Shore were in a relationship in the early 1970s for about five years. Reynolds was married to American actress Loni Anderson from 1988 to 1993. They adopted a son, Quinton, but separated after he fell in love with a cocktail waitress.

He also had a relationship with Sally Field, his Smokey and the Bandit co-star who relationship from about 1977 to 1982, whom  he called the “love of my life.” After his death this week, Sally released a statement saying “There are times in your life that are so indelible, they never fade away. They stay alive, even forty years later. My years with Burt never leave my mind. He will be in my history and my heart, for as long as I live.”

Minxy thoughts about the great Mr Reynolds? I have to admit, I’ve only seen him in Deliverance, and it was actually through watching Archer, and Archer Stirling’s obsession with Burt Reynolds that I learned a lot more about him. People have said he was charismatic, wryly appealing and a heartthrob, and I am inclined to agree. Aside from rocking some seriously impressive muscles, moustache and chest hair, he was tall, dark, with a cheeky sexy smile and twinkly eyes. Classic Hollywood good looks at their best.

Smokey and the bandit.jpg

Although he later said he regretted doing the Cosmo shoot, I think that it is a fantastic photo, and am very pleased he shared his gorgeous body with the world. I will be honouring him by watching some of his films this weekend, and enjoying the 70s sex god in his full glory.

RIP Mr Reynolds, you total legend.

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littlewelshminx

Posted in Burt Reynolds, Obituary, sex god, sex symbol, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

40 Years of Rizzo and her Reputation

Rizzo Grease

 

Hello my dear Minx lovers!

Today we shall be examining one of my favourite characters in film, and one of my first ever girl crushes: Grease‘s very own Betty Alexander Rizzo, known as Rizzo.

I’ve had a soft spot for bad girls for a very long time, and I think it can be traced back to watching Grease as a young girl and falling completely head-over-heels for Rizzo. Whereas other young girls were dreaming of being Disney Princess and Sandy, I wanted to be Rizzo. She had dark hair, amazing Rockabilly style, she was tough and funny and didn’t seem to give a shit.

I realised at a young age that she had something called a reputation which at the age of 6 I didn’t quite understand, but which quickly became clear.

I ached, yearned for that kind of confidence and gutsy attitude and as I grew older, Rizzo became lodged in the back of my head as a kind of role model. Rizzo liked boys and had absolutely no problem in telling them, hanging out with them, kissing them (more than one shock horror!) She knew what she wanted and she went for it.

She also had a reputation. I initially didn’t understand what this meant. She was doing exactly what the boys were doing: kissing, fumbling about in cars, and in her own words, “getting her kicks while she was still young enough to get them.” Nobody said anything about any of the male characters acting like this…so what was the problem?

Rizzo Grease jacket

Bearing in mind Grease was set in the 1950s and filmed in the 1970s, Rizzo’s character was quite progressive in terms of sex and sexuality. During the sleepover, her (albeit cruel) song Look At Me I’m Sandra Dee questions, mocks and challenges the ideas of being pure and remaining a virgin. She constantly makes jokes and references to sex, everything from asking if Danny is going to “flog his log”, to getting rid of the T-Birds by sarcastically asking “What do you think this is? A gang bang?” Frenchie reveals that she has had a previous relationship or fling with Danny, which she dismisses as “ancient history” as she is now involved with Kenickie.

She appears to not only have an interest in sex, but is comfortable with her own sexuality and needs. She talks and jokes about sex with friends. When invited by Kenickie to have some time with him in his car, she is happy and willing to go, especially as they seem to have a loving, if tempestuous relationship. Rizzo actually stops the action to ask about protection – proving that she has a good understanding of protection and that she is not afraid to try and look out for herself – before getting swept up in the heat of the moment.

Rizzo ends up skipping a period and believing herself to be pregnant, she emotionally shuts down. Although worried, rather than panicking, or wallowing in regrets or recriminations, she demonstrates her independent streak and courage when she tells Sandy she’ll look after the baby on her own if she needs to.

Rizzo Grease 2

Rizzo’s song at the end is a open admission of the fact that she knows she is “no good,” but is also a condemnation of the flirts and teases she sees on a daily basis. It also reveals a much softer side to her: while she doesn’t care what most other people think, she has pushed Kenickie away to spare him the pain of seeing her hurt and scared.

Rizzo’s reputation is for discussing, enjoying, and having sex. Her openness about sex is what lands her a reputation as a slut. This is what upset me the most about Rizzo, especially as I got older, and began dating more and more. I easily identified with her, and didn’t understand why anyone else would care if she had boyfriends, or previous boyfriends, or had sex, or a lot of sex. Why is it such a big deal? Why was it such a big deal if I did it?

20 years ago, as now, the slut shaming and reputation labels were in full swing. I have no idea when / how this line gets crossed. Is it sleeping with one person? Three? Five? Fifteen? Fifty? Is it being open about sex? Is it talking and joking? What creates a reputation in the first place?

And why, once a reputation is created, is that the thing that everyone focuses on? That was what seemed to define Rizzo  – she was perceived as a bad girl slut, nothing more, even though she is funny, brave, stylish, sassy, confident, a natural leader and underneath her teenaged sarcasm and rebellion, actually quite kind and caring.

Here’s the thing. I like Rizzo and like Rizzo, I’ve been slut shamed. I was slut shamed before I had done anything at ALL – I clearly remember being accused of having sex well before I had, and casually shrugging off my virginity – because at the end of the day – who CARES?

As someone with a reputation, let me set the record straight.

It is none of anyone else’s business who I sleep with, or how many, or when, or if there is break in between or not. Just like it is none of my business if YOU only ever sleep with one person for your whole life. It has fuck all to do with anyone other than me and the person (or persons) I sleep with at that point in time.

Slut shaming is a pointless and fucking stupid thing to do. You are reducing and defining someone to their sexual preferences and experiences, and therefore reducing and defining yourself by those things at the same time. What gives anyone the right to point a finger at someone else and demand a certain sexual behaviour or attitude? Nothing, that’s what. We’re all different, especially in the arena of sex, so stop with the slut shaming right now.

For some people, I am a big old massive tart. To others, I am unbelievably vanilla. Here’s the thing: it’s 2018. I don’t have the church or the local parish banging on my door demanding I wear a hood with a massive red A on it. I’m a grown women (with a very high sex drive) and as long as I’m open and honest about what I want and try not to hurt people, who gives an actual fuck what I’m doing? I do plenty that won’t make this blog for years that will possibly shock or annoy or amuse friends. But the world didn’t stop turning because I did it – go on – check outside. Still going right?

I do naughty, bad and twisted things as and when I can…because I have the chance and I want to. Reputation be fucking damned. This is who I am…right now, and I’ll keep doing this as long as I want to, until I meet a guy who can keep up, keep it up, and win my heart properly.

Until then, as with Rizzo, rather than throw my life away on a dream that won’t come true, I’ll kiss a boy or two and have a damn good time.

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Posted in bad girls, reputation, slut shaming, tart, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

We don’t need no education? Sex ed in the UK

Sex ed

 

Hello my dear Minx lovers, and welcome to yet another blog. Today we’ll be talking about sex ed in the UK.

Part of the reason for the gap is that I’ve been trying to do some deep proper research, to find out the basics of what is taught in mainstream schools at the moment. This proved incredibly tricky, which was annoying as hell. In the end, I asked a close friend who is a teacher, and she broke it down like this.

In my day, sex ed was taught as part of PSE (personal social education). It has now been updated to include some info and details about relationships. However, that is where the updates seem to have ended. According to my friend, sex ed is not part of the curriculum, and because it is not assessed, a lot of schools try and fit it in, as and when, sometimes weekly, sometimes fortnightly, sometimes whenever they can. Some schools have full time staff dedicated to it, and some have to rely on form teachers / staff to deliver the programmes. Which are varied as well, but in a nutshell, they have to teach the basics without advocating anything. Confused? I am!

What’s worse, some schools are still getting it completely wrong. Another friend told me that he went to a school which taught abstinence – this was post 2000. I mean…FFS!

OK, so going back to my own sex ed, mid 90s. It was shit.

In Year 3, I was told about sex from a friend in the playground.

In Year 6 we had basic sex ed in class, which consisted of watching a video of two people getting naked, and then having sex. They were both very hairy. Eeeep.

In Year 7 we had a slightly longer chat/sex ed, which included details about periods and how to deal with that. This was delivered to girls only, by a hilarious Scottish nurse who had us crying laughing at how fucking tricky tampons can be at first. 🙂

Years 8-11, more crap and vague sex ed. Best was from a biology teacher who “answered questions” that were never actually asked, to help us pass our GCSE. (That class mostly got As). The worst involved being asked to write an A-Z of STDs / sex words. Helpful. Whilst most of the year group did the condom / banana lesson, for some reason, my class skipped even this. I think someone stole the banana. Probably the poor bastard who had been asked to teach the class. Seeing as some people I knew were already fucking by Year 9, this was also too little/too late.

As I said, from asking around, not much has changed or improved. Teachers and students alike find it awkward as fuck to deal with these kind of lessons, and while it would be far better to bring in a private company to deliver regular lessons to pupils, most schools are far too cash strapped these days to do something like this.

So how else do kids learn?

Other sources of info include older siblings, (screwed if you go to the same school), friends, and looking online, mostly from porn (fun for enjoying, fucking TERRIBLE for teaching).

Siblings won’t really want to help – or might provide false information for a laugh. And friends….their friends will be just as clueless, and will probably be talking a lot of shit and lying. Think Jay. Exactly.

 

Jay InBetweeners

For digital native kids (anyone born after 1997), most experience sex for the first time through the medium of porn. Unlike in our day, it is readily available, easy to access and free, and a large number of kids entering secondary school have ALREADY seen porn. However, they don’t always realise that porn is fiction, and a form of entertainment, rather than real actual sex. This is one of the reasons why today’s youngsters are increasingly sexualised, and treat each other like basic shit.

The internet is not all bad. There are some amazing websites, bloggers and vloggers out there offering fantastic sex ed videos and clips, teaching kids everything from where to buy condoms, to where to get advice about getting tested. They also offer info on the stuff that wasn’t covered in my day, including LGBT relationships, the emotional side of sex, and info about abusive and negative relationships.

Part of the reason I write this blog in the first place is to try and create a platform for people to talk about sex, and for it to become less of a taboo topic. I’d love to see people being more open about sex and relationships, and actually stepping up and having those talks.

A few years ago I had a frank and rather brutal discussion with a friend’s much younger cousin about his own experiences of girls, and knowledge of sex. He seemed both clueless and far too eager to experiment with things, and in terms of the emotional and maturity side, he was well out of his fucking depth. He was treating girls like shit and had fucked up several phones by the age of 14 because they were clogged with porn. Luckily he has an amazing brother and sister-in-law, and these days he is now far more respectful towards women, and far less of a porn-obsessed muppet. You know who you are, and I’m proud of you. 😉

In my opinion, the best people to teach kids anything about sex, are parents. If you are going to make the decision to blend your DNA and create life, part of that responsibility includes teaching them about the facts of life. I appreciate that it is an awkward topic to broach, but at the end of the day, you are raising them to be adults, not perpetual children, and you need to man the fuck up and have that talk, before they get their hands on a smart phone, or learn it first hand with that dodgy looking Year 12 with a six-pack and a free house.

Do your kids a favour, and make this a priority. Get a dialogue going, and keep it open, because it’s far better to have the chat about all aspects of sex and sexual health, emotions and relationships BEFORE they need, rather than after. Take a deep breath and repeat after me: “Let’s talk about sex baby.”

littlewelshminx

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Posted in British sex education, sex ed, sex education, sex stats, Uncategorized | Leave a comment