The Minx Guide to: Festive Fucking

Sexy santa 2

Hello my dear minx lovers, and ho ho holy crap it’s nearly Christmas day!

With the seasonal spirit already in full swing and The Big Day creeping ever nearer, I wanted to write this blog about sex during the season of goodwill, and give you all a basic guide to Festive Fucking.

At Christmas time, we are all frantically busy, and usually quite stressed out. There’s food shopping, present shopping, miscellaneous seasonal shopping (scissors / sellotape / string / batteries / tinsel and trees / nativity outfits / Christmas cards / driving/ shopping and everything else. So when can we fit in a Festive Fuck whilst managing the kids, travel, guests, and everything else?

Never fear, the Minx is here with some sexy seasonal advice to keep you going through the holidays.

Festive fucking 2

Christmas Eve – By Christmas Eve you’ve more than likely made it to your holiday destination or your guests have arrived. You’ll be prepping, packing up pressies and doing your best not to strangle the kids. Lots of stress and pressure and not much time for nookie, right? True, BUT, this is a good day to practice the ever so sneaky art of the Quickie, by using the classic Christmas line “Don’t come in here! I’m busy!” This will give you the chance for a swift, hopefully undisturbed grope, made all the more exciting by the risk factor. Dangerous, yes. Chances of getting caught, pretty high. Pros – you get laid, and for anyone who catches you, you’ve sorted out what to buy next year. A lock for the bedroom door.

Christmas Day – this is far trickier as people expect to spend more time together on Christmas day. For those without kids, but with adult guests, you have the grace of an early morning lie-in so you could probably manage a quick spoon if you’re quiet. For people visiting family or friends, again, early morning / post-lunch siesta time would be good, but as a guest try to keep it quiet to not piss off your host. For couples without kids / flying solo….I salute you! Go as fucking crazy as you like.

Boxing Day – usually means a hangover of epic proportions, combined with a bloated stomach and being absolutely fucking knackered. For parents – just leave it. Sleep and recoup while you can – maybe try and squeeze in a grope in the evening. For the rest of you, the pressure’s off, there’s no more stress about cooking and the day is yours. If you are in a couple, you might have been lucky enough to have some sexy presents from the day before…today is the day to find some batteries / see if it fits. If you’re still feeling rough, have a cwtch / a wank, and wait until the room stops spinning.

Ho ho ho.jpg

Post-Christmas Limbo days – the days between Boxing Day and NYE usually pass in a blur of food, booze, parties, and socialising. Days melt together, and everyone is usually out and about…giving you the PERFECT excuse /cover for some post-Christmas friskiness. This is hopefully a chance for when the people with kids can hand them over to the grandparents, and collapse upstairs in bed together for a few hours to remind themselves how they made the kids in the first place. For the childfree, if you’ve been apart from your significant other, this is a good time for a reunion. Get tied up, down and dirty, find some mistletoe and see who’s been a bad boy or girl.

New Year’s Eve – this is a bit of a Marmite event in my experience, and people either love or hate NYE. In my circle of friends, a lot of couples I know stay in (and presumably fuck) or go to coupley parties with other couples. Myself and the single crew hang out at house parties, bars, pubs (or clubs back in the day), sometimes heading into town, and approach various stages of getting battered. For us, it’s about friends, not fucking. However, I do know that for some people, NYE is pinnacle of their social media whiplash, when they hope that SHE or HE will the THERE and this is the CHANCE for hooking up at last. There is a lot of hype over NYE and people put a lot of pressure on themselves (and their prospective beauxs / belles) for this to be IT. Personally – I think NYE can be a romantic time/place to start something, maybe have a snog, but it isn’t a great time for a hook up. Real life isn’t like the movies, and you’re more like to catch an STD than catch a falling star on 31st. Maybe use it as a time to check out the talent for the next year – it’s only a few hours away after all.

Sexy santa

Final thoughts from me?

Christmas can be tough for everyone – coupled up and single alike. Don’t be too down on yourself, too smug, or too worried about other people, what they’re doing or where you are this Christmas and NYE. If you get a chance to fuck – fantastic! If not – don’t worry, there’s always next year.

This is the busiest time of the year for conceptions, and subsequently, catching nasties. If you’re not after a baby, or an unexpected STD, wrap it up!

Remember to take time to love YOURSELF this Christmas, whether that means some metal TLC, or a sock with lube. Trust me, you’re worth it.

Happy holidays and have fun with the festive fucking!

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

littlewelshminx

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About littlewelshminx

I'm a Welsh girl in my 30s, living and working in south Wales. I like reading, writing, watching films (especially things that make me laugh) hanging out with friends, going to bars to drink and dance playing guitar (badly) listening to lots of different types of music (opera to dance to bluegrass to rock) going to the theatre, and I've recently started swimming. I have 3 degrees, and have had lots and lots of different jobs, including working as a barmaid, waitress, KP, shop assistant, admin assistant, events, sales, PR, marketing....writing suits me best. I will be writing about sex from as many angles as possible - from personal experience, through academia, history, geography, culture, myth, legend, fact and fiction. What is sexy? What turns us on? What do we really think and feel about sex? If you like what you read, please follow me, and pass it on :)
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