A happy Sunday to you all, and I hope you had a lovely weekend! As some of you know, I am working a temp contract, and as such, this has had a major impact upon my day to day life which in turn has an impact on my dating life. So in this blog, I thought I could look at the realities and my experiences so far of living between two cities, and how commuting affects dating and relationships.
First of all, staying even a few nights a week in a different city opens you up to a whole new pool of men – massive bonus. If you’ve never lived in that area, you won’t be bumping into exes in real life, or failed dates and hookups on Bumble and Tinder – another massive bonus.
You get to experiment with the new accent/s and see how it works for you. I’m loving the West Country accent in Bristol (super cute) but have also noticed that there is a high percentage of posh totty in the city, so I’m enjoying listening to a mixture of London/Home Counties RP as well.
Contracting forces you to interact with lots of people in real life situations. I’m staying in digs, working in a new job in a large organisation, using a new branch of my gym and have to eat out while I’m in the city. I’m only halfway through my contract and I have already met dozens of new people, and got to reconnect with some friends in Bristol. This has been a really nice change, and although I’m not specifically on the hunt at the moment, the face to face element has been refreshing, and feels a lot more like my social life back in sixth form / uni.
You also get to explore a whole range of new places to go on dates, from bars, pubs restaurants, to museums, tourist hot spots and simple sight seeing locations. This is refreshing change, especially if you have lived in the same place for a long time, and spares you from the judgement of the staff at your favourite bars.
Cons? You might end up on dates for the wrong reasons. Working on the road / in a new place where you don’t know anyone can be really lonely, and dating / cruising people online can sometimes be more for comfort / boredom than because you’re actually interested in meeting /hooking up. This is basically time wasting, and isn’t a cool thing to do.
You might get in a situation where you are caught between chatting to people in both locations, but because of the travelling, you are unable to actually make enough time to meet up with them either midweek or on the weekend.
Working on the road is also knackering. Whilst split between two locations, I’ve found that I spend at least an extra 10 hours a week in the car / on buses, as well as constantly doing a lot more logistical admin for myself. This, combined with the new job, colleagues, routines, systems, road systems, neighbourhoods, lack of routine and constant stream of new faces is really exhausting. In my case I have been so knackered, rather than get dolled up and make interesting small talk with someone, all I want to do after work is crawl into bed alone.
In reality, the grass isn’t always greener, and people are basically the same everywhere. Moving to a new city isn’t going to magically erase the dickheads, scary stabby psychos, or weak wet wankers from the magical land of dating. There are just as many of those in Bristol as in Cardiff. They’re just a bit taller and talk with a different accent.
So how has my dating experience in Bristol gone. I went on a few very respectable dates with a fellow contractor I met on Bumble. He was bright, funny, sweet and very kind and caring. Turns out he’s also in the middle of a fucked up open relationship situation, and was wondering if I fancied being his Bristol-bit-on-the-side. I gently explained that whilst I may be a currently in my own Minxy-Tale-Of-Two-Cities, I’m a Cardiff girl at heart, I don’t share, and that he could go fuck himself.