Good evening Minx lovers, how have we all been?
Tonight’s blog will be all about first dates, and the sheer joy of (eventually) bumping into someone that you actually have SPARKS with.
The last 6 months of dating can be summed up as a Disney right-off. I’ve met the dating equivalent of the Seven Dwarves (Sleazy, Dopey, Grumpy, Skinny, Skanky, Bashful and Pissed).
I’ve met some proper villains, some half-hearted nasty bastards, and some vague little side characters who, like black dots on an optical illusion, vanish if you try to look at them directly. (Give it a month or two and they’ll turn up again, with a vague message along the lines of “LOL, sorry, work’s been mental, how about you.” Yeah yeah, fuck off Christian Grey, nobody’s THAT busy.)
As I say to my friends, with every failed attempt, I end up a little wiser and stronger, and with some great writing material and character ideas that I can squirrel away for future books and plays.
However, each failed attempt is also another little chip into your hope and belief that there are semi decent dudes out there, and sadly, there are plenty of the nasty ones around who lead you on, waste your time and yes…even make a hardened Minx like myself cry.
Dating is and always will be tough. It makes you question yourself, your place in the world, your belief in people, and sometimes you get to a point where you just go
FUCK IT. FUCK EM ALL. I’ve had ENOUGH!!
I had reached such a point a few weeks back, and I was in the process of closing down conversations (just vanishing is fucking rude) when I realised one of the guys I’d been chatting to seemed kind of… sparky. Interesting.
We were actually getting along. He was bright, funny, open minded, chilled….he hadn’t once bitched about an ex wife or gf, didn’t have any baggage, and hadn’t asked to see a naked pic.
Yes. Yes that is appalling that just by being a decent guy he was standing out. There are scumbags out there, and any half decent man positively shines. If you have stuff in common – major bonus.
So why was this one different?
For starters, HE asked ME out. I’m a big believer in equal opportunities, and it’s totally cool for girls to ask guys, but you know what? Sometimes, I just want a bit of old fashioned romance, and it makes me feel like I’m dating an old-fashioned man, rather than a lazy / pussy ass boy.
So a lot of first dates suggestions usually consist of a coffee (safe option but if you dribk to many you’ll be high as a kite with eyes like pinholes), a drink (which can translate into a few drinks then maybe crash at mine?) or a meal (terrible idea for a first date – you could be stuck for 2 hours with your eyes glazing over as they show you pictures of their llama / ugly children / car…unless you’re driving something like a 1961 Ferrari GT California, I don’t care.)
He suggested a walk around a park. Bonus points for romantic aspect, and love the fact it was a bit different. We met on the corner by the Rec in Cardiff. He was sitting on a bench, and had been into the library and was flicking through a book. 🙂 More bonus points.
So we met and hugged, and he seemed sweet and a bit shy but very chilled. Now, normally on dates, I’m trying to hold in my natural bounce. I’m one of Nature’s Tiggr types and that is hard to hide and I know that it can be scary. But around him, I immediately felt relaxed and calm. I don’t do calm. This was intriguing.
So we walked and talked..about jobs and work, and music, and films, and books and everything. I can remember at one point I quoted Voltaire, and he finished the quote for me. Hmmmm….bright and well read. Nice.
We walked around the lake, then sat for an hour and watched people on paddle boats. I felt happy and relaxed, and was really enjoying his company. When he suggested dinner, it was an immediate yes.
Now, for regular readers, you know I like my food and I’m a carnivor – sex blog aside – I really like my meat. When he suggested a vegan place, I was intrigued and decided that it would be cool to try something new. It was an awesome restaurant and the food was incredible.
During the meal, he chatted and only touched his phone to check in with a friend he was meeting later. He actually asked if I minded if he called his mate. Proper old school gentleman stuff.
I was really gutted when I had to go, and as we left, I realised we’d been out for nearly 4 hours.
It may not have been everyone’s cup of tea, but that was my kind of first date. Romantic, simple, great conversation, great company, and great food. He was sweet and kind and thoughtful, and genuinely interested in me, and making a good impression. No awkwardness…just easy, fun, and flirty. Perfect.
This is the reason why I keep dating. For all the crap you go through, for all the frogs (and toads, weasels, ratbags, fuckwits and just plain DICKS) that are out there….there are still some decent guys out there, and every now and again, you’ll go on a date that is wonderful, where you spark with someone.