Dating in your 20s vs Dating in your 30s

20s vs 30s

Hello dear minx lovers and welcome to another joyous Sunday morning!

On the littlewelshminx facebook page, as well as links to this site, I also try to post sex related news items, and things that amuse me. There are lots of pics of firemen. 🙂 One recent photo I shared was from a twitter account summarising dating in your 20s vs dating in your 30s. (See above).

So as minx now in her early 30s, I thought I would share my thoughts, and admit the truth about the difference a decade has made.


Oh my god. I’m single at 20. I’m over the hill.
Oooh cute boy likes me. Does he? Or doesn’t he? I don’t know!
Wow. He’s hot. Let’s fuck him and see what happens.
But so what if he’s a player?! (Just be good to me!)
I can’t ask him out. That makes me look too needy.
I have to ask him out, or I’ll seem too girly.
Why hasn’t he text me?
Will he think I’m too fat? (When I was a size 10)
Will he like my hair?
Will he like my dress?
Why hasn’t he text me?!
He has an ex girlfriend / “close friend” that he hangs out with a lot, but he said it’s OK.
He’s been acting really moody and won’t talk to me. I’m so pissed off I might break up with him….why did he look relieved when I did?
Ughh. He’s a bad kisser. But he’s really nice!
Ughhhh. He’s a complete waster, is doing nothing with his life, all my friends hate him and he drinks / takes too many drugs / parties way too hard. But he’s really nice!
He cheated! (I’ll forgive him)
Where is this going? (After 3 weeks. Or days)
We never spend enough time together (He JUST left).
It’s OK to do everything he wants to do all the time. That’s compromising, right?
You can’t text / message / phone him back until you’ve waited at least the same time it took for him to text / message/ phone you back, because otherwise the planets will align and the universe will implode. Or something.
What do you MEAN he wasn’t THE ONE?????
Oh my god, I’m not married at 25. I’ll be alone FOREVER!

20s minx

And it goes on…and on….and on…

These weren’t all me. A few of them were me but not all.

Basically dating / relationships in your 20s are tough because you’re learning the ropes of how people work, whilst at the same time, battling the inner demons of youth inspired insecurity coupled with inexperience.

For a time, you question, second guess, and worry about EVERYTHING. A lot of the issue stems from striving for perfection, and trying to please other people.

It fucking sucks.

And then one day, sooner for others than later, you have this wonderful moment.

For me it was getting my heart ripped out when I was in the process of turning 30. It was a long, painful, drawn out experience that I genuinely believed I wouldn’t survive.

But I did. And after that…..well, everything else is kind of laughable.

You know how mothers have this fantastic lack of fear? They smile at each other in this way, because they’ve been there man. They know. They’ve been to THAT PLACE. It’s the place where the mum voice comes from.

I think that breakup was the relationship and emotional equivalent of childbirth. All that worry and angst and endless ENDLESS questioning, just melted beneath a great big flaming wall of FUCK IT.

Which has left it like this:


Not you.
Not you.
Not you.

You. I like you. Are we doing this?

30s minx

I think what happens in your 30s is that instead of looking out, you look at yourself. You take a good long hard look, and you say, OK, this is me. This is who I am. I’m fucking gorgeous and amazing. Forget all the game playing and time wasting. I want to be with someone equally as gorgeous and amazing as me, and I’m fucked if I’m going to settle for less.

I’ll be straight with you minxes, I’m not sure what’s going to happen.

I have no idea where I’ll be in terms of relationships in 6 months time, or a year’s time, or 5 years time.
I have no idea who I’ll meet, or who I’ll love, if it’ll happen quickly, or if I’ll be single for a bit longer or a lot longer, or I’ll end up having one great amazing love after another.

Right now…that isn’t a bad thing. 🙂



About littlewelshminx

I'm a Welsh girl in my 30s, living and working in south Wales. I like reading, writing, watching films (especially things that make me laugh) hanging out with friends, going to bars to drink and dance playing guitar (badly) listening to lots of different types of music (opera to dance to bluegrass to rock) going to the theatre, and I've recently started swimming. I have 2 degrees, and have had lots and lots of different jobs, including working as a barmaid, waitress, KP, shop assistant, admin assistant, events, sales, PR, marketing....writing suits me best. I will be writing about sex from as many angles as possible - from personal experience, through academia, history, geography, culture, myth, legend, fact and fiction. What is sexy? What turns us on? What do we really think and feel about sex? If you like what you read, please follow me, and pass it on :)
This entry was posted in dating, dating in your 20s, dating in your 20s vs dating in your 30s, dating in your 30s, first dates, passion, relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Dating in your 20s vs Dating in your 30s

  1. It’s funny how much confidence has an effect on your dating game. In a way I think the less I care the better I become at dating!

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