Hello Minxes and Happy Easter weekend to you all!
Today I was jamming out and listening to tunes on Spotify after a particularly tough couple of weeks. Music is incredibly important to me. It soothes, energises, and is a perfect sounding board for every and any kind of feeling going. I can’t do without music, and I marvel at the way a song can come on, and perfectly reflect your mood or thoughts or current situation.
So there I was, bopping away when a familiar guitar riff kicked in, and my eyes lit up.
The Buzzcocks: Ever Fallen In Love With Someone (You Shouldn’t’ve Fallen In Love With)?
Have I? Hell Yes!
In a surreal flashback style, in seconds, my brain went into overdrive, and a hundred different memories, thoughts, feelings and long lost images started scrolling past my mind’s eye, like an internal flicker-book of illicit lust, passion, lost loves and half forgotten cravings.
This is one of those things that we have all experienced in one way or another. Everyone I have ever spoken to on matters of sexiness has had at least one moment, one dark shining flash of craziness, acted upon or not, where they have found themselves lusting after or falling for the worst possible person EVER.
There are many, many types of Ever Fallen in Love situations.
Pete Shelley describes someone who’s a dick and been messing with his head:
You spurn my natural emotions
You make me feel I’m dirt
And I’m hurt
Between my friends and many acquaintances, there have been so many variations on this age old story. Examples of the Someone and relevant why you shouldn’t issues include your boss, work colleagues, flatmates, housemates, too old, too young, comes with baggage, can’t handle your baggage, just split up with someone, not ready, too ready, too far away, hasn’t travelled, lives next door.
Bad ones include your ex, your best mate’s ex, your brother or sister’s ex, you’re with someone, they’re with someone (or to really put the stinger in, married), the ones that got away, emotionally retarded commitment-phobes, addicts, shit in bed, shit with money, can’t get their shit together, too clingy, too kinky (please!) not kinky enough, not compatible, nothing more than sex, or just good old fashioned BAD for you.
The list of reasons for something to be incredibly unsuitable is infinite, and sadly part of the appeal. Nothing quite as attractive as doing something you really should’t. You’ll probably find you spend at least part of your teens and twenties testing these theories and getting burned REALLY badly.
One of the benefits of finding these people early is that you can try things out, make mistakes, and if (When) things go wrong, you’re young enough for the scars to fade, and hopefully you’ll learn something.
One of the downsides is that these types of people don’t magically stop turning up in your life the second you hit 25, or 30 or 35.
Life is a bit of a fucker like that, and every now and again, for now reason whatsoever, but probably when you’re really really busy and don’t need anything else on your plate, it’ll throw you a curve ball.
My own Ever Fallen in Love people struck completely out of the blue. All of a sudden you wake up one day, and suddenly realise you’ve got feelings for someone….or you want to rip their clothes off and do incredibly minxy things with them….but you can’t quite remember where it started. In certain cases, the people literally turn up (or turn up again) and turn your world upside down.
This happened one afternoon. I had just come back from lunch. I opened an email…and my colleague said that in a split second all the blood had drained from my face. I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach, because I knew exactly what kind of ride I was in for. (And YES…it bloody hurt and took ages to get over).
The interesting thing is that while I was listening to the song earlier, I started smiling. For all the flashes of memory, I realised that all those experiences brought me to where I am now. Each Someone taught me something, and made me that little bit more aware of who I am, and how much shit I am willing to take. Some gave me some of the sexiest minxy memories I have, taught me amazing new tricks that I use to this day, and for bad or good, we shared experiences that I wouldn’t give up for anything (broken desk ahem).
Falling for the WRONG person is a Universal experience, and how you deal with it will teach you a hell of a lot.
As awful as it can feel, one day you’ll look back and smile, even if it’s just at yourself.