Hello Minx lovers!
For my 50th post, and to celebrate Halloween, I’m doing a sexy spooky special, dedicating this blog to the sexy strumpets and studs within the horror genre (for all horror fans, I am stretching this definition somewhat to include spooky type shows, and thrillers).
Angelica Huston as the fabulous Morticia Addams.
The matriarch extraordinaire of the clan, she is the first lady of goth girls, rocking long black hair, amazing vintage style hair and make-up, and an apparent tendency towards the dark side when it comes to her love life with husband Gomez. One of my favourite quotes:
Morticia: “Last night, you were unhinged. You were like some desperate howling demon. You frightened me. Do it again.”
Brad Pitt as Louis de Pointe du Lac in Interview with a Vampire.
So in this film Brad plays Louis, who is in a funk grieving for his wife and child. He is found by Tom Cruise who decides he’s lonely, and wants to create a family, so he turns Louis into a scientologist. I mean vampire. Louis spends a lot of this film being broody, and sulky, but thankfully wears a lot of white shirts, and doesn’t turn into a glitter ball in direct sunshine. One of the better examples of a traditional vampire, without a whining high-school girl in sight. Bravo Anne Rice!
Tarantino’s From Dusk Till Dawn sports two of the sexiest horror characters going.
First you’ve got Seth Gecko, played by the fabulous George Clooney. He’s just trying to get through a very long day after robbing a bank, and trying to keep his psychotic brother in check. All he wants to do is get across the border to Mexico, but ends up kidnapping a family and hunkering down for the night in the Titty Twister bar, where we meet Santánico Pandemonium played by Salma Hayek.
After doing a heart stopping shake and shimmy routine, there’s a big fight, and the film pulls a magnificent 180 by flipping from thriller to horror, when it turns out Santanico, as well as being incredibly foxy and rocking some amazing curves, is a vampire, along with the rest of the staff and the house band, and they start wreaking tequila fuelled, sexy un-dead mayhem. “Now that’s what I call a fucking show!”
I know I’ve mentioned Rocky Horror before, but you can’t talk about Halloween without a nod towards the great Dr Frank N Furter.
This Transylvanian Transvestite stole my heart one new year’s eve, when being too young for clubbing but old enough to stay up and watch the night unfold, I stumbled across the sheer joy that is Rocky Horror, and a love affair with corsets, and the darker side of sex.
Buffy and Angel. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was a core TV show for teenagers growing up in the 90s. Whilst the sfx were mediocre to start with they did improve. The vampire lore seemed changeable – I remember the slightest beam burning up some vamps, whereas others seemed to survive under a coat. Either way, it rocked. Cool music, gothic vibe, teenage FBI elements, spooky if not scary (with the exception of The Gentlemen episode which scared the living shit out of me). The Buffy /Angel love story was fantastic, and a fabulous source of mid to late teen eye candy for everyone to lust over. Dark haired sensitive (totally ripped) vampire? Beautiful, slightly innocent looking vampire slayer? What could be better?
Oh, that’s right. Spike.
I don’t usually go for blondes. Spike broke this rule. The ULTIMATE badboy, awesome body, and bittersweet to boot. The sexual tension sizzled between him and Buffy. We all knew it was going to happen, but my god, when it did, I didn’t think they’d literally bring the house down. Awesome villain, and incredibly sexy.
The 90s also produced one of the best tv couplings of all time, with the creation of the true believer and general sceptical pair that were Mulder and Scully in the X Files. We had the thrills and spills of genuinely terrifying monsters (Liverman anyone?) with brilliant banter. Although it can be argued that the X-files follows a predictable Scooby Doo style pattern (find a monster, chase the monster with flashlights, lose the evidence and every few months get abducted by aliens), the later seasons were decidedly weaker, I still think the early X Files, were fantastic. As their relationship and the series progress, we see them bond and grow together in a really deep level, and when they finally get together, it feels like the Sci-fi universe lets out a collective sigh of satisfaction. Some of the best sexual tension, without a sappy happy ever after ending.
Speaking of Scooby-Doo, I couldn’t possibly talk about ghostly crime fighters without a mention of the dream team power couple from the Mystery Machine, which are of course, Fred and Daphne.
I have a theory about Scooby Doo. Call me paranoid, but you’d think after years of investigating monsters and ghostly ghouls, and the monsters ALWAYS turning out to be Old Man Winters, or Aunt Polly, or George the Gardener, that Scooby and the Gang would catch on, and maybe instead of trespassing on private property or breaking into old hotels / graveyards / mansions, they’d do something else on a Saturday night, like go to Woodstock, or catch a film in a drive through. But no, every episode, they plunge head-first into another spooky adventure, inevitably splitting up at the first sign of trouble, before getting chased every which way but loose. So why keep doing it?
Simple reason. Daphne…..is a complete and utter prick tease.
Ever noticed how she always goes off with Fred, and then just as they might get some time alone for once on a weekend…..BOOM! Spooky ghost appears. My guess is that Fred is suffering with the worst case of blue balls in history. Lack of sex will make anyone desperate….even desperate enough to keep agreeing to chase “ghosts”, on the off-chance that the next time he might just get his dick wet. Scooby snacks anyone? 🙂
And last, but not least…………
Sam and Dean Winchester from Supernatural. Just because.