Hello and a Happy Valentine’s Day to all you lovers out there!
So, if you are lucky enough to be with someone special this year, here are a few minxy tips on how to get the most out of it.
1. No Excuses!
This is the one time of the year when it is acceptable, (and yes, capitalism and card company greed based origins aside) kind of expected that you’ll do something nice/romantic for each other. Gents, even if she/he says that she/he doesn’t want you to make a fuss, JUST IGNORE THIS. It’s far better to get a mini bollocking and an annoyed half smile for an evening for spending money on a card/chocolates/flowers/nice bottle of wine, than filthy looks and being sent to coventry for a week for being stupid enough to believe her. Ask yourself this, if someone could potentially get you tickets for the World Cup/Music festival/ of your choice, and they didn’t deliver, how would you feel? Exactly. I don’t know a single person who wouldn’t appreciate a romantic gesture of some sort. So get off your arses.
2. Girls have to make an effort too!
I’ve frequently had conversations with guys (and girls) who get annoyed and bummed out that the romance and care seems to be all one way. Ladies – love is an equal opportunities emotion, so make sure you’re giving something back! It could be as simple as a massage, an hour alone with the remote/X-box, a nice meal, down to the deep dark and dirty, such as wearing some new lingerie, or trying something new (again, USE LUBE!) But whatever you do, remember to show him that you care too.
3. Think outside the box
For the filthy minded among you…no I didn’t mean that! If you decide to do something nice for someone you care about, don’t just be boring and go for the regular ideas. Flowers etc are really nice, but they’re not everyone’s cup of tea, and sometimes putting a bit more thought into a pressie or idea can make the world of difference. Some of the nicest presents I’ve ever had are books…two of the best were a copy of Beadle the Bard, and The Kinsey Report (thanks to both the lovely people who got me those – much love!). Very personal, and very very special. What makes that person beam? Tea cosies? Dog racing? Dinosaurs? Make it special for them.
If you’ve been together for a while, sometimes it can be difficult to make time together. This year Valentine’s falls on a Friday, so there’s no excuse – it’s the perfect date night. Phone a babysitter, stick the cat in the kitchen, light some candles, (or get dolled up and call a taxi), and remember to make time for each other. And then later on, “make time for each other”. 😉
There will come a time when dancing will be a faint memory, and you won’t even be able to walk without assistance, so even if it’s a rare occurrence, make an effort to stop what you’re doing, put some music on, be it loud and shouty, or sweet and sassy, or dark and scary, or bouncy, or sexy or whatever, take your partner by the hand, and twirl them around a dance floor, or at least the lounge. And if they hate dancing, all the better!
6. Be considerate of others
I’ve got lots of amazing friends who are in couples, and are genuinely in love and very happy, and hand on my heart, I am really and truly pleased for them. I look at them, and it amazes me, humbles me, and scares me. Honest to god….and mainly because it gives me hope, and the faith that one day I’ll find something similar.
But there are also plenty of stupid twats out there who are completely thoughtless about the fact that not everyone is lucky enough to be celebrating Valentine’s Day, and will throw their love hearts and chocolates and cards right in your face, ask inappropriate questions, trip about all day oooh-ing and ahhh-ing over the amazing bunch of roses they received and generally be as welcome as a meat wholesaler at a Vegan convention.
We all know people who are recently single, in a less than perfect relationship, happily settled into batchelorette/bachelorhood, widowed (big love to both my grandmothers) or for whatever reason, won’t be celebrating this year. You were single once too. So please have a heart for others……and don’t be an overly smug insensitive dick on Friday, or you might find yourself with a single red rose shoved up your nose.
Much love, and Happy Valentine’s Day!