Your eyes lock across a bar or club…it’s dark, hot, sweaty, and very very late.
You’ve had a lot to drink…or possibly not enough. You feel something primal….you bite your lip…they move closer…and several hours,…or minutes later, you’re back at a respective house / flat dorm room, ripping each others clothes off, lost in the passion and knowledge that you’ll probably never see this person again.
What is it about illicit encounters like this that attracts so much attention? Is it the bad boy / bad girl behaviour? The lack of inhibitions? The spur of the moment sense of urgency? The swirling blend of hormones, (and alcohol or stronger) making you dizzy and causing a head rush?
Or is it loneliness, lust, subconscious reproductive needs, or sheer boredom?
Personally I think attraction, just like the best nights out, are all about chemistry, luck and timing. Think about all those times when at the back of your mind – or wide out in the open in some cases – you’ve gone out on the prowl. Now think about the number of times that has resulted in anything long term? You’re far more likely to encounter someone sexy completely out of the blue when you’re not expecting it, which is the beauty of a one night stand…you can’t really predict when they’re going to happen.
There are, of course many potential negative points to one night stands.
The cardinal rule is obviously make sure you’re packing (by which I mean protection), as one night stands can frequently end in tears and a trip to the STD clinic.
They can get messy – and not in a good way! If you’re looking for a relationship with said Standee, it’s a really really bad way to start something, even if you’re going down the fuck buddy route, as the whole point of something more stable is that you see (and sleep with them) more than once. Also they can unleash a lot of inner demons. Two words. Barney Stinson.
A reputable source tells me that in his experience, a lot of one night stands occur when people are travelling / on holiday….awesome for spontaneity, a potential hotbed of awkwardness if you’re going to be around that person for a few more days / weeks/ they are your tour guide.
Then the classic…beer goggle one night stands. I’m sure all of you at least know someone who has taken home a less than attractive lady or gentleman due to being intoxicated….and woke up experiencing Coyote Ugly next to them ( yes, from the film – where the person is so god damn ugly, you’d rather chew your own arm off than move and wake them). And you probably not only laughed as it happened, but bought them drinks to encourage them, and cheered as they returned from the walk of shame.
But there are so many positives as well!
Far from being in the no-go regime exclusively for bad girls, our (slow but sure) sexual revolution means that if you do indulge, you won’t be shunned, forced to marry or burned as a witch.
The old saying that if you fall off, you have to get back on the horse is very true. Weeping in your bedroom, watching Bridget Jones over and over whilst drinking vodka is one option, but personally, I think that if you’ve had a bad breakup, riding some hot stud like black beauty is a far better option. (Yehaw!)
Variety is the spice of life, and when you’re young, that is the best time to experiment. The thrill and rush of an illicit encounter could be just what you need to drop your inhibitions and try something new, exotic or totally wild.
And finally ….
When I asked my dear friends and acquaintances for in-put on this matter, most smiled and laughed…but I could see, deep in their eyes, a small spark flickered as a memory surfaced. Whether they gave extensive detail, or skirted around the issue, it was clear that, rightly or wrongly, those of us who have indulged have created some fantastic memories, that will keep us chuckling well into our twilight years. After all…we only live once.