Hello one and all!
Apologies I’ve been away so long – as I said back in April, I’ve had a really busy few months in work, a hen do, a wedding, and I’ve just moved into a new flat which has no internet. Lame excuses I know, but this whole 9-5 thing is difficult to get used to again. 🙂
So, where was I? Fuck buddies, or in the Latin, Friends-With-Benefits.
The way it’s supposed to go down is like this. Guy and girl, or 2 guys, or 2 girls, like each other enough to want to get down and dirty. There is mutual sexual attraction, but no actual desire for a relationship, for a variety of reasons….they like each other but not in that way, recently burned after a relationship, just happy being single, blah blah blah.
So the sexual tension builds and builds and eventually they get a room. The next morning they wake up and say, hey, this is perfect! We can fuck like bunnies without the hassle part of the dating game (yes that’s a Human Traffic quote!). No muss, no fuss, and nobody gets hurt right? WRONG!
The reality is that one of pair usually gets emotionally attached and lets it continue for a while because they think it’ll lead to more. Or because they’re both still single, they both continue to have lives, which means that one day a booty call will occur and the other just won’t be available. Or the classic reaction of simple jealousy, when one decides to start seeing/dating/sleeping with someone else, and “why not, we’re not a couple!”
In a way, being in a Fuck Buddy situation can require the same level of T&Cs as being in a relationship – as long as there are clearly defined rules, lines and boundaries, it should all work hunky dory, but seeing as most people don’t so much plan, as fall into a fuck buddy situation, this is rarely the case.
My own experiences have been limited, but what I have seen, has left me sitting on the fence.
On one hand, I’m always of the mind set that if you’re safe, happy and what you’re doing doesn’t hurt anyone, game on. Fuck buddy relationships can allow you the freedom of exploring your dirty side, and sort out basic carnal needs, without emotional hassle.
They can also break your heart and fuck your head up proper nasty.
I give you the example of Buffy and Spike – the roller coaster of emotions, lust, hate, anger, fear but as wrong as it was, as much as they couldn’t be together, their’s was a true fuck buddy relationship at the beginning.
After speaking to several friends about this, they came back with a mixed bag of reactions. Some said yes, some said no, and more than a few said Hells No. MAny of them agree with me, however, that Buffy and Spike were hot.
It seems that if all you want is a regular hook up, this can be an ideal way to go. One minute you’re bored, watching crap late night T.V, the next the phone goes, and half an hour later….well, I’ll leave that up to your imagination. 🙂
But I think the key here, is remembering what a fuck buddy relationship is at its purest…not love, not affection, just sheer sex.
If you find yourself looking for more, or expecting it to change, it’s probably a good idea to get the hell out of Dodge, but hey…it was probably fun while it lasted!