Earlier this week, I was pottering about, minding my own business, and doing some research, when out of no-where, I was flumuxed by a very basic question.
When it comes to sexy time, how much is enough?
Before any of you break out the measuring tapes, I am talking quantity, rather than size! Time is an essential factor when it comes to sex and seems to be in the back of everyone’s mind. How often is enough? How long can he/she last? Is more better, or is the quality the essential thing we should be looking for?
It’s not exactly the sort of thing that is covered in school…sex education to me seemed more like a bingo card of contraceptives and which STDs to avoid. In Sixth form and Uni, people were either massively under or over exaggerating, and although close friends will share details with you (yes gents, girls talk too!), this can be patchy, and varied, dependent on many things including relationship status, and the amount of alcohol the speaker has consumed.
I thought I’d defer to some experts, so I went to check out the latest stats from Durex. The boys and girls at our friendly contraceptive company regularly undertake national and international sex surveys, presumably to gather as much relevant market research info, as well as study an interesting topic and have a bloody good laugh in the process.
Their 2009 British Sex survey revealed the following:
When it comes to flying solo, only 13% of us go it alone on a daily basis, roughly 10% 5-6 times a week, and 40% having alone time between 2-4 times a week.
On average, 5.3% of the national population have sex every day.
The highest by region was Wales, with 6.5% of people having sex every day. (Yes, I feel vaguely proud of that!)
Over 33% of people have sex between 3-6 times a week, 10% have sex once a week, 8% have sex once a fortnight, and roughly 11% of us have sex less than once a month – once a year.
In comparison with the 2005 Global survey, by 2009 the Brits had lost their place among the horniest nations in the world, with a below average of 92 sex sessions every year, compared to the global average of 103, and the Brit average of 118 times a year.
Perhaps not surprising, 37% of the Brits said they wished they had sex more often.
So, if we’re having all this sexy time, is it actually any good? The 2007 Durex Survey analysed the Sexual Wellbeing angle, i.e is it any good, and are we being physically and emotionally satisfied?
Again, the results are very interesting.
Global stats show that only 44% of us are fully satisfied with our sex lives, which is the same for both men and women. In the UK, it showed that 25% of us are DISSATISFIED with our sex lives, ranging from somewhat to extremely unhappy.
53% of people in the UK always, or almost always experience an orgasm – again, I was a little sad that we were beaten on this point by the USA (59%) and Australia (58%), but happy to see we were ahead of France (48%!).
I was rather annoyed to see that this works out globally as 64% of men, and 32% of women always, or almost always experiencing orgasm. In the UK these stats are 76%/34% male female split!
And how long does the average sex session last?
In 2009, according to Durex, the average Brit couple spent 16.3 minutes on sex.
Considering that research by Brown University showed that men orgasm after 7-14mins (2-3mins during sex), but it takes women between 10-20mins to come, it seems that there are some clear discrepancies here!
So, in conclusion, in the UK, we are having sex 93 times, but not as much as we want. Men come more frequently, and quicker than women, and only half of us experience orgasm every time. Hardly worth getting out of bed for eh? 🙂
So what are the minx’s thoughts on all the statistics?
Well, first of all, I still think that a sexual batting average of once every 4 days is not bad considering most of us work a 40 hour week, plus commute, have friends, a social ( possibly dating life), and within that, people juggle family commitments and kids. I’m not at all surprised that our average sexy time has decreased – one of the biggest outside elements affecting everyone’s lives of late has been the recession, and the resultant threats of budget cuts, job losses and money worries…stress is cited as being one of the key factors that cause us to lose the edge, and if a recession isn’t going to stress you out, nothing will.
I’m hardly surprised to see that women are getting less orgasms, but I found it more distressing that 25% are reasonably unhappy with our sex lives. What’s worse, we spend 3 times as long commuting back and forth to work each day than we do having sex. Think about it, you spend more time alone in your car in traffic, or stuck inches from a businessman’s armpit on a crowded tube or bus,while a copy of The Metro leaks ink over your forehead, than naked having fun with your significant other.
The interesting thing with the Durex Surveys, is that they ask their participants the chance, not just to dish the dirt, but to give suggestions as to how to improve things. Suggestions included more romance, more alone time with the other half, more fun, and less stress. Simple right?
Maybe not. But, as I said back in December, for me 2013 is going to be about spending more quality time, and having more time to relax and have fun. As the fabulous Take That once said, it may only take a minute to fall in love, but the act of love takes, and deserves, a whole lot longer.