After more than 18 months of frantic campaigning, the American election has finally come to a close, and when I woke up on November 7th, my first reaction was
“Oh, thank God!”. Regardless of what he has or has not achieved, I am pleased to see the United States being manned by someone who is pro liberal sexual politics.
Sex and politics have always gone hand in hand. My first true memory of this would have been the Lewinsky affair, when I was about 11 or 12. As with the First Gulf War, and the Berlin Wall, I can remember the news of a lady in a black dress, who had done something terrible with President Clinton. My thoughts on Commander-In-Chief were that he seemed nice. He smiled a lot and played the Sax….who cared if he had a girlfriend? Well, his wife for starters, followed closely by the Senate and the House of Representatives. It’s interesting how much this came to be a metaphor for the sexual misdeeds of politicians…more than 10 years later, whilst working in a cocktail bar in Uni, I found myself serving ” Monica Lewinskys” – with baileys and cream as the main ingrediants.
Now there are many political angles to observe when it comes to sex…feminism, LGBT rights, how much is TOO much and who gets the final say?
But today, I base my musings on a recent BBC article, Why are couples so mean to Single people?
OK, before anyone kicks off, not ALL couples are mean to single people. And yes, sometimes single people can be mean to couples. OK, all the equal opportunists happy? Brilliant. 🙂
So,the general question being asked by the gentleman…yes, GENTLEMAN, is why do couples feel they have the right to question his being single?
I’ve had some experience of this over the last few years…ever since I turned 25, news of any potential beau has been greeted with a look of pure joy on the face of my grandmother. When, after a suitable ammount of time, I introduced an ex to friends and family, although I knew they were happy for me, there was a tinge of relief I hadn’t expected. I felt it myself…Oh thank god! She’s found him! More wine anyone?
Yeah, it didn’t last. And weirdly, when we did split, I felt like I was letting other people down. I mean, I was upset, and dissapointed, but the first thought was, Oh god, what will they think….I’m turning into CHARLOTTE LUCAS!!
Now, back in the days of Jane Austen, it was probably a good idea to marry young. Childbirth and pestilence were a real threat back then, not to mention death by boredom or any of the sexual diseases your husband may have picked up in his youth. You were expected to make a good match, and people pityed the like of poor Miss Bates – sad, childless and alone.
Well…times have changes. We can vote, work, wear sexy things, read books, own property and have rights. Both men AND women can support themselves, and although we may still be struggling to break the glass ceiling, we’re still hammering away. Marriage is fantastic, IF and when you choose to marry…hopefully for love and when you can afford it. If it’s not for you, doesn’t matter! But does that mean you lose your identity? Or that you didn’t count before hand? Hell no!
And I have had it…the look, usually accompanied with a head tilt and a tut. Oh, it didn’t work out? (Tilt head) I’m sorry. You’ll find him, he’s still out there, pleanty of fish in the sea.
I recently had a chat with 2 friends of my parents, who meant very kindly, but again, head tilt, Oh, you’re single? You’ll find him! You’ll settle down and have babies!
And until then…what? Because I have no good news I’m on hold? A social leper? I don’t count?
As Bridget Jones puts it:
Oh God. Why can’t married people understand that this is no longer a polite question to ask? We wouldn’t rush up to them and roar, “How’s your marriage going? Still have sex?”
But after a long time…a thought occured to me. Fuck it!
I have to give most of the credit to some very good friends, who have seen me crash and burn with rebounds on more than one ocacssion, and told me to stop worrying about the single ” stigma”. It has taken me a long to appreciate that you CAN be happy alone….and that being single and approaching 30 does not mean the end. I’m still adjusting, but I feel like my eyes have been opened to the possibilites I’ve been missing. And guess what? Being alone…can be really fun.
No date for the cinema…but I can go with my mates, and see what I want!
Haven’t seen a friend in ages…soon as I have the cash, I’m there.
Am I a football / cycling / X-Box widow? Nope.
Do I have to buy the latest video game for him for Christmas? 🙂 New shoes
Do I have to guess where/when my next orgasm is coming from? NO!
Being alone, doesn’t, and shouldn’t automatically equate to being lonely. It can be hard, and sure, I wouldn’t turn down Mr Perfect if he turned up when I’m settled and sorted (or Daniel Craig any time he wants). But at the moment, being single means never compromising, and living just for me…and it’s not often a girl gets this kind of freedom.