In the words of Dickens, I shall begin at the beginning. Although, this in itself is not strictly true. The beginning indicates the first time I ever heard about sex at all.
I was 7 years old, in the playground. My friend briefly whispered to me about the place babies come from. About a year or two later, during a trip to visit family, I stumbled across my teenaged cousin’s romance novel stash. The first I read was about average…in 1789 or thereabouts a young girl, being persecuted by her uncle, fleas to live with a widow aunt, is kidnapped by pirates, and taken to some exotic city where she is sold as a slave to the sheik. Who just happens to be the twin of the sheik, in disguise, who was taken from the hareem homestead at a young age, to go live in England, and is therefore perfectly able to understand the girl’s English, and the fact he should rescue her. Which he does, after a seduction or 6.
This wasn’t Mills and Boon – the cover was a scantily clad girl and lord in leather trousers (you know the type) and was pretty well researched. Looking back the sex was tame…but to my young mind it was the pinacle of shocking and sexiness. Sadly, it left me with a vague Disney esque fantasy about what sex should be like which took a good long while to understand it was completely unrealistic.
So when it came to the actual popping of the cherry, I was crushingly dissapointed. He didn’t try and seduce me….I had to actually ask him. He looked surprised, and pleased. We planned it carefully, watching a DVD at his house – the first DVD I ever watched actually….this was back in the early 2000s and they were new-ish and exciting.
It didn’t hurt, and it didn’t feel right. I was expecting a fullness, along the lines of what I can now expect from a standard size Rampant Rabbit. No such joy. I only JUST caught myself from saying ” Is it in yet?” – Ladies….NEVER ever say this during sex. It will guaruntee that the sex will cease immediately.
It was pretty standard, we were both excited, sweaty, bit nervous, there was some kissing, oral for him, missionary, rather tame, …over in mere minutes….in fairness we were both virgins, so I didn’t expect more. We used protection. Afterwards we both had a cold, and I’m smiling at this, because it was a sudden grown-up knowledge that felt like we had reached on a whole new level…if you share a bed with someone, you’ll get their germs.
I can’t honestly tell you if I came or not. It’s faded in the pink and grey mist that decended over me afterwards and lingered for a few days. I’d had sex. It had been…OK. I felt grown up, and not at the same time.
He was 6 ” 3 at 18, broad shouldered and muscley. Used to play rugby before his knee gave in, dark hair and dark eyes, good sense of humour. These features have been my general “type” ever since, and thinking about it, is a good description of my first crush at the age of 5,,,,more on him another time.
I did love him, but, yes, he broke my heart. Of course he did! It’s rare to stay with the first one. Within 3 months, he dumped me and went off with another girl. A tiny part of me still tuts at the fact he never had the balls to be honest about it, but you love and learn.
I was proud? Relieved? Happy? In love? No, not really. I remember questions from friends, and answering them with gory detail. I remember knowing that this had changed everything, that I really liked it, although my gut told me it could be better. I remember thinking a few months later, I’m glad I loved him at the time, but I wish it could have been someone else.
Your first time stays with you forever, purely because it’s the first. I’ve only ever slept with 2 virgins, him and another gentleman, and I would never do it again, because, like me, they have to remember it for the rest of their lives, and therefore remember you.
It’s one of those Universal questions that people end up asking in Uni, in social clubs, on drunken stag and hen weekends, on girly nights in and boys nights out…” What was your first time like?”
Many people I’ve asked, smile, then blush slightly, and a similar story will emerge…once in a while something crazy and wild, but generally the same themes….
To all virgins, I would advise that you take your time. This story will be with you forever, so make it something to be as proud of as possible.
To all the ex virgins out there, if I could sum it up in 3 words, it would be:
Tall, dark, and impatient.
How about you?