Hello dear Minxes, and welcome to autumn!
I hope you all had a wonderful summer and are settling back into the cooler September days with plenty of fabulous filthy memories to keep you smiling.
What’s that I hear you cry? Do I sound a little smug? Lol settle in minxes, do I have some stories for you.
OK so as you know I’ve pretty much been off the relationship scene for about 18 months. Before this summer, I’d had some sex, the odd fling, a short term 6 month fuck buddy I hardly saw, and I dated but that was it. No long term attachments, no real deep love.
Truth was I was getting jaded. Sex is one thing but it was actually really nice, and good for me, to take a break from relationships. A few people including family members will argue that I haven’t because I’ve been dating, but to me, dating is something kind of fun to do that might have potential. I didn’t get overly attached to any of them. Most of them were, quite frankly, not worth it. It was something to do on a Friday. And sadly, 99% weren’t even fuckable.
So I stayed single, and focused on me. And I found time to reconnect, and yeah, properly get over the ex and some exes before. Do you know what I realised? After the initial few months of flailing about and desperately trying not to jump straight back into a couple….being single was kind of fun! I got to be 100% selfish…all of the time. My standards have definitely improved as a result of this. I stopped being ‘nice’ to people I hardly fancied, and when I had sex, it was completely uncomplicated.
After 16 years of ricocheting around DatingLand, this was fucking FANTASTIC! I was able to take a really long hard look at myself and make some big changes. All of the energy I used to put into relationships and men and love and feeling shit were suddenly just going into me. Results so far have included losing weight, getting a bit fitter, quitting my job, going back to Uni and nearly finished a second MA degree, as well as getting a bitching new house-share, and an amazing new job. Cool eh?
So I was enjoying myself, probably friskier than I’d like, things were going peachy, and I actually felt…for want of a better word…at peace with myself. Things weren’t perfect, and it’s not been an easy year, but it was really great not to have a man draining my energy and fucking things up. However, I started to get a little…well…..cynical.
As I said I was dating, and I kept meeting these…to be blunt, ugly stupid fuckwits. It just kept happening…over and over and over and I woke up one morning and realised to my horror that because I had been able to focus on me, when I looked back at THEM, the scales from my eyes had fallen away. The unwashed illiterate miscreants that I would have taken pity on in my early 20s were now repulsive, irritating and just fucking awful.
In gaming terms, I had levelled up.
Oh ho! I cried, I guess I’ll be needing a massive supply of batteries as I’ll probably never get decent sex again. The usual ‘decent’ ones had become boring and beige, and I was now seeing the sexy ‘cocky’ ones for the difficult cunts they actually are. Fair play. Give it a few years and i’ll find me a younger man and go full blown Cougar.
Aha! Said the Universe. You won’t have to wait that long. 😉
So anyway, this is the thing about having a relationship sex reboot. If you decide to take a break and chill, even if you needed it (like me) even if you were really hurting (sadly also me) no matter how convinced you are that now you’ve found yourself and you’ll be alone and possibly celibate for the rest of time…someone will inevitably turn up to throw you right back into the game.
As with computers, if you want a reboot, switch it off….the Universe will send someone your way to turn you on again.
My particular revelation came in the shape of a very tall dark French-Dutch hybrid, a few (!) years younger. I have known this guy for about 2 years and we are reasonably close friends. Out of the blue, I looked at him one day and suddenly I had this familiar and horrible lurch and that was it. I didn’t just want him…I WANTED HIM. I wanted him so fucking badly that it hurt.
This tall, geeky very sweet man…god knows what happen but this imperceptible shift turned him into Adonis god of fucking.
But he was a friend! Oh my god I tried so hard to fight it. For about a month I ignored it, and had serious chats with myself and long arguments in my head late at night…going along the lines of yes…no!….yes…no!!!!!
It was like a magnet. I felt myself slowly but surely being drawn closer and closer and I had such little control that I could barely think. When the Universe reboots your sex drive it doesn’t fuck about.
One night, staying over his….after a solid five hours of not being able to sleep….something snapped inside my head. I had to try. I had to at least see what my brain was screaming about. What the fuck was it suddenly in this guy that was driving me so bloody crazy that I couldn’t sleep.
My body and psyche had apparently caught a scent of something that my brain just wasn’t clocking. I snuck into his room (actually crashed into it) and we talked for a while..then one thing led to another….
He turned out to be 100% hot French-Dutch Fucking machine. I had no idea.
What followed was a month of pure unbridled, passionate, fun and multiple-orgasm filled fucking of the like I have not had in YEARS. Being so tall, he was able to go full Alpha male, and not only did I need it, but I fucking LOVED it. The sex we had was so insanely good that I’m actually glad he was leaving shortly after it began. It was the kind of sex that can be addictive.
Not only was he a fucking demon in the sack, but he was incredibly cool with it as well, and in one month, he managed to undo years of damage from crap boyfriends and awful dating. I felt alive and excited and turned on and so sexy, and again….who fucking knew?!
If you meet someone that you have this kind of sex with, there are two possible outcomes. You either keep them forever, or take it for what it is and enjoy every single filthy fabulous moment of it and for years you can bask in the glorious memories of some of the best sex you’ve ever had.
Just knowing that sex like that is still out there has genuinely restored my faith in men, and he has proved that good ones still exist.
While we are now back to just friends, we are closer than before, and I have been left with some fantastic memories and a post-sex haze that a month after the fling, still hasn’t quite died down yet. Sometimes, all you need is a reboot, and for someone to turn you off and on again. And believe me, it’s worth taking a shot and just saying “Fuck it”….even at 5am. 😉