Hello minx lovers and welcome to another blog!
Seeing as I had an absolutely fantastic date with a chef last night, I thought I would drop you a guide to what it is like to date these wild creatures.
As some of you know, I spent a long time working in trade and hospitality jobs. My early experiences working with chefs will stay with me forever. They were like a pirate crew working in perfect synchronicity. This involved working with an absolute army of chefs in many venues scattered all over the country. Due to the long hours, most people in trade end up dating (or at least fucking) each other, and I have dated several chefs over the years.
Ok…to start with, chefs work in a hot, very high pressure, mostly male environment. My early experiences working with chefs will stay with me forever. They were like a pirate crew working in perfect synchronicity.
To survive in a kitchen, you have to have a great sense of humour, and incredible physical, mental and emotional stamina. Chefs work outside the 9-5 lifestyle, generally late nights into the early hours, making them quirky outsiders in both a professional and pirate type environment. Filthy, testosterone filled, confident and hilarious, they have high sex drives and low tolerance for bullshit.
Moving, twisting and flowing around each other, check clad, muscles straining to move pots, pans, plates and roasting tins in 40 plus degree heat, sweat dripping down tanned flushed, stubbled faces, open-necked stained jackets showing chest hair, cut-off sleeves straining over naturally toned muscles, barrel-chested, huge arms, calling and shouting orders and check-backs, laughing and joking as they turned out 50, 100, 200 covers a shift. The sweat, steam, smoke, fire and smell of the food combined into a sensory overload. I was completely and utterly hooked. Chefs work long hard hours in a very physically demanding role, and as a result most of them are very strong, and muscly, if not ripped. More than capable of pinning you down….or picking you up for that matter. 😉
From the younger ones cutting their teeth as sous and grill, to the older more experienced heads of department, most of the chefs I’ve met have a confident cheeky swagger that just makes me melt. They have to be confident or they wouldn’t survive the job. It’s an old school, Han Solo-esque rascal quality that I fucking love. I’m a strong woman and I’m attracted to strong confident men. Chefs have this in spades.
The good ones love food. I mean LOVE food – and if you are into food or cooking, you will at the very least pick up some incredible recipes, if not be wined and dined like a princess. One of my favourite memories was being spoilt with Eggs Benedict Royale and champagne for breakfast. You can chat food and cooking styles and trends to your heart’s content.
As previously mentioned, they have a filthy, dark and twisted sense of humour. You need it to survive in that kind of environment without snapping or stabbing someone. I have never laughed as much as in a kitchen, and these experiences have had a huge ( and probably unfortunate) impact on my own sense of humour. Delicate and sweet innocents be warned – don’t go near them….you will end up blushing and running for the door. If you can cope, you’ll laugh your arse off.
The fact that they work backwards hours, and generally need to be slightly nuts to do the job means that chefs are good for anyone else working in trade, or in a similar non-standard anti 9-5 lifestyle situation. If you are happy to date someone a bit mental who finishes work at midnight or 1am, and is hardly around on the weekends or holidays, grab yourself a chef. If you’re after someone more 9-5 in terms of availability, then just avoid them. The kitchen will come first every time, and don’t think you can change that because you can’t.
Vices. All chefs have at least one vice, usually smoking, drinking, drugs, gambling or sex. Usually you get a combination of a few of these. A recent programme by Gordon Ramsey explored the amount of cocaine being consumed in his restaurants by both customers and staff. It’s pretty standard. Chefs work long hours – we’re talking 14 hour shifts, on their feet, in very high temperatures, delivering high quality food in high pressured situations. They have these vices to keep them going and to chill them out. Standard for the industry, so be aware.
Promiscuity – kitchens are a bit like the Olympic village – everyone is hot, horny and fucking everyone else. New waitresses and waiters are arriving at every kitchen door and service hatch at all times of the year, and sexual tension runs high. It is worth noting that in the hospitality industry people get together a lot, they cheat a lot and the divorce rate is high, but if you are just looking for a quick fling or some causal fun then the kitchen could be the place for you. Plus, worth mentioning while I know a lot of chefs who are total dogs, I also know a few really sweet ones who are smitten with their partners – not all bad!
Kinkiness. Chefs are filth. Absolute filth. Another reason why I love them so much. They will try to fuck you at work. They will try to bend you over their work station. They are inventive, slutty smutty beasts. I have a particularly fond memory of being tied to a bar stool by a chef that still makes me giggle and blush to this day. Enjoy it.
So…what happened last night? Well my date was with a friend I worked with on a summer job. When we met there was an immediate spark. I looked into his eyes and we just smiled and started bantering. I found myself wishing he was on shift – it always went faster when we were working together and we got on really really well. Seeing as we’ve both been single for a really long time and I haven’t dated anyone in a good 4 months, we thought we’d have a catch up.
Still cute. Still had amazing arms and gorgeous eyes. Chemistry was still there. I got to hang out with him for ages and it was as if nothing had changed – we were still bouncing off each other as if we’d only just walked off shift. He was warm and open and funny and really affectionate – something I haven’t had in a while. I had a fab evening catching up with some beers, cwtching and chilling out. Also finally got to kiss him, which was pure magic. 😉
So yes – if you’re up for a laugh, then chefs are the way to go.